Dad - and the money bribe

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Dad - and the money bribe
« on: June 23, 2021, 06:47:41 AM »
This is really winding me up at the moment..... And I can't believe Dad is doing it.
I've got a younger brother. He lives locally to Dad, I live 30 mins away.

I've got an 8 year old, and a 17 old with Aspergers. Its tough sometimes. Oh and wife has health issues too and walks with a stick.

Anyway brother was always a loose cannon. Hes got 3 kids from 3 different relationships - cant be bothered to see them. In the past, he'd let Dad down constantly. Never turn up. Be down the pub etc. Dad would often go 2 months without hearing a word from him.

I helped Dad with everything. Sorted out grants to get his stair lift done etc, house modified. I'd take him away for weekends etc.

Now, (at age 50!) brother has calmed down, got married, no more pub. Hes decided Dad needs to be "looked after".    Bit late mate.
So he came up with a "rota" (or plan) where everyone -including my wife! had a visit to do on each day. Easy for him he lives a mile away, and his wife doesn't work.
Of course, I said I can't commit to that - I've got kids, wife works shifts etc (and she has her own family).

It got really nasty. He sent some abusive stuff etc. So now we don't talk and hes blocked on facebook. Before this he dropped Dad in it a bit. 99.99% certain they've both been talking about me behind my back and saying how selfish I am. Dad denies it but I know he did.

Anyway moving on. Brother works intermittently. To say the least..... Dad has made it obvious that hes giving money to brother every week now. (Dads got thousands in the bank). Making it so hes sure I know. And saying things like "But you're so busy with work that you can't spend time with me that you don't need the money do you?"
Hes even doing it to my kids - my daughers last birthday he gave me 20 and said "get her a card".....

Last few years has been a constant battle with Dad trying to get his own way. His attitude is "women do as their told" and kids "can go without it won't hurt them". I was bad but a few years ago it all clicked and now I refuse to let down my wife or kids because Dad clicks his fingers and Dad absolutely hates it.

He thinks me wife is the devil incarnate (she's not - she doesnt want anything to do with him and to be honest I completely stand by her on this). Hes told me more than once that I need to "sort her out whatever it takes". Scary eh?

Its just so obvious the money thing is Dad saying "those who do what I want get rewarded".

Hes forgotten all that I did for years because brother is the current "Golden Child" who will do what he wants. Maybe brother is the clever one though - they know hes getting old and are thinking bit of hard work for a few years then a lot of money. Who knows?

I dont want or need Dad money -  it just sickens me that he does this. To be honest, it has probably killed off any last feeling I ever had for him.

Anyone else get this? Honestly, when I think what hes doing I just feel like I never want to see him again...