uNPDm in Hospital And Not Sure What To Do

[completelyperdue]

Hello Everyone,

I've been NC with my uNPDm since February this year.
It is a little bit of a long story, but to make it short is that I found out that my mom's boyfriend is a con through a Частный следователь (preventing google searches) and tried to have my other relatives confront her with the information. The con basically hoodwinked my mom into thinking that it was "noto'g'ri shaxs," and my mom passed on a threat from the con to me that if I don't stop probing that he was going to get the cops on me and file a lawsuit for harrassment. I decided then and there that if she was okay with this guy threatening me with fake threats, then she is no longer a safe individual for me to continue to be in contact with because who knows what else she would be cool with this guy doing to me. I was grey rock/MC before all of this went out, and this just pushed me over the edge.
Anyways, last week I find out through my GCsis that I am not invited to my late eGrandma's funeral because the con is acusing me of blowing all of my inheritance on the Частный следователь and that I was not going to be welcome at the funeral because my eGrandma, according to uNPDm, would be very upset at me for wasting my money in that manner.  I know I'm not going to take the bait and try to tell her the truth about things because I know it would fall on deaf ears since she would be caught in yet another lie.
Today, unfortunately, I find out from my Uncle (my uNPDm's brother) and his wife that the con had taken my uNPDm to the hospital because she was unresponsive. The con called my cousin since that was the only number that he had because he has continuously used burner phones and phone numbers throughout my uNPDm's relationship with him.
I contacted my Uncle and his wife back to let them know of the current situation of my relationship with my mom and that I do not plan on going to the hospital due to my mom's recent text to my sister about me. I said that my GCsis would be in touch with the hospital to find out what was going on.
My uNPDm is stable, but the docs do suspect it is some infection. She's being kept at the hospital for observation and testing.
I am doing okay somewhat even though the anxiety is there. I ask myself if I could go to see my uNPDm, would I? At this point, I don't think it would be best since it seems she's knee deep in her deillusions with the con, and probably seeing me there would just set off her narcissistic rage which wouldn't be a good thing in her current condition.
I know she is probably going to bad mouth me if I don't show up, but I don't think there really is a right decision to make in this scenario since I have been healing from being NC these past four months.
I didn't think I would get to this point of NC to know that my uNPDm is in the hospital with some medical condition and if I would break NC or not.
More than likely, there is someone here on this forum that has dealt with this before that can give some advice as to what to do in these situations. It's definitely not an easy one to be in at the moment.
Thanks for reading, and I'm glad to know that this place exists for support.

[SunnyMeadow]

I know she is probably going to bad mouth me if I don't show up, but I don't think there really is a right decision to make in this scenario since I have been healing from being NC these past four months.

Hi completelyperdue, I'm sorry you're in this painful situation with your uNPDm and her con of a boyfriend. You say she's going to bad mouth you if you don't show up. I have no doubt she'd bad mouth you if you DO show up. You didn't stay long enough, you weren't concerned enough or any other ridiculous thing. They are champs at bad mouthing and completely making up stories.

I haven't experienced this same type of situation but I know my uNPDm and she loves drama and bad mouthing people, even nice and sweet people. Since it seems that these NPD people all follow the same handbook, I'd guess your mother is the same. She'd have no trouble causing more upset if you broke NC and visited her. Reading that your mom passed on a threat to you from the bf is really gross. I agree with you, she is no longer a safe person for you.

Even if she is in dire health, that doesn't mean you have to break NC. Nothing has changed just because she has some sort of infection. Sadly, she won't become a loving mother because she's ill. She could act worse than she ever has.

At all costs, protect yourself from additional harm and anxiety. 

[completelyperdue]

Hi @SunnyMeadow,

Thanks for you kind words. It's been a bit of a rough go these past few days, but I've decided that it's better to keep away and stay away. My GCsis has been handling things as best as possible with me there as a support to guide her when she does not know what to do. We have a pretty good relationship despite what we grew up with, so we at least have each other to lean on.
Although a situation with my uNPDm has come up where I may need to get APS involved due to the nature of the infection being caused by potential neglect by the con bf, but at least I can do that anonymously so she does not send any of her flying monkeys or hoovering attacks my direction.
Trying to hang in there as much as possible and 'Let Go and Let God,' deal with this situation.

Thanks again!