Finally making this post!

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buffy

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Finally making this post!
« on: June 25, 2021, 12:01:37 PM »
Hello all, 

I've been coming here for a while but for some reason making a post felt very daunting. Tried and failed a few times.
I feel like I need to perfectly introduce myself, for some reason(hiii, debilitating perfectionism).
So I'm just going to do this and keep it short there's no way to put my entire journey here anyway.
I have CPTSD from my abusive family, I don't know which personality disorders they have or whether it matters, but reading about abusers with narcissism and BPD I always recognize a lot.

I've cut ties with almost all of my family(I only talk to my grandmother). The one abusive person who's left is my mother and I'm having a very hard time going NC. I'm completely isolated right now, have no one in my life, and I'm trying to find some places where I can talk/write about all of this. Because doing it alone is just very difficult/perhaps not the wisest move. In all honesty, I'm pretty terrified to do it, for a bunch of reasons. But I know I need to.

So, hi. I'm glad to be amongst people who get it.


...and I'm also pretty excited about these old school emoticons(?), which take me back to 2005.  :cheer:

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Hazy111

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Re: Finally making this post!
« Reply #1 on: June 25, 2021, 12:19:20 PM »
Hi Buffy,

Anyone raised by narc parents i believe suffers from C-PTSD in its many myriad forms. I certainly do.  ( i get the perfectionism too, harsh internalised critic perchance?)

I hope you can gain some solace and strength from people who post .

Post as much as you like there's always some good advice or comfort.

Hazy


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buffy

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Re: Finally making this post!
« Reply #2 on: June 26, 2021, 03:48:36 PM »
Hi Hazy,

I think you're right, I don't think it's possible to get out of it unscathed. It leaves some very deep scars. I'm sorry you know what it feels like.
And that is absolutely my inner critic, yes! Perfectionism is the worst.

Thank you for the welcome, just reading along has honestly been a huge help. But I'll try not to be stopped by that critic and post some more.


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SunnyMeadow

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Re: Finally making this post!
« Reply #3 on: June 26, 2021, 11:00:10 PM »
Hi buffy,

I'm glad you found us but sorry you have to be here. When I first got here I posted a few things then completely deleted my account! I was paranoid my uNPDmother would find me by my story.

These type of abusive people are something else, aren't they?  :doh:  I hope you stay and post more when you feel comfortable.

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buffy

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Re: Finally making this post!
« Reply #4 on: June 28, 2021, 12:20:47 PM »
Hi SunnyMeadow,

That is very comforting! That's a very familiar fear. I tried to join another forum years ago, but after someone somehow figured out my location and posted it, I just couldn't convince myself anywhere online was safe. Anonymity is obviously so important. I'm glad you stuck around gives me faith that I can do the same. Thank you for the warm welcome, it really does mean a lot.