Divorce

[FindMyStrength]

I'm new here....everything I have read so far sounds a lot like my life. I'm just so sad and overwhelmed facing the truth. Divorce. We've been married 19 years and the last 4 have been so stressful. The verbal abuse, gaslighting, manipulation, spliting, lonelinees, and.....with all the financial responsibility on me. Wow. No wonder he doesn't want to change....he's got it so good.  I'm so angry that I've worked so hard and he'll take half of what I've earned. I have to let that go....but it's hard. He has become so entitled. Any advice as to how to let go, give up half of what I've earned, and move on???

[JustKeepTrying]

I am so sorry that you are going through this.  Allow yourself to feel your feelings and anything you feel is valid.

As for giving up half and moving on all I can say is after decades of the same abuse you experienced, I am happier now than ever.  The peace I have and daily stability is worth it.

[ploughthrough2021]

Think of the alternative, stay stuck with him for life.  Take your half and run !  You will make up for  the lost half and much more in terms of a peaceful and meaningful life.

[Kat54]

I had to give my ex some of my retirement, he had none. Plus I had put up the down payment on our house when we bought it, which he bought me out of. Much of  our divorce seemed unfair with splitting finances.

When we had to split up the contents he left me bags of Waterford crystal at the front door with a few things I asked for. I couldn't go in and get things, he packed up what he Deemed I could have because he was sooo difficult and controlling.
I actually ended up taking hardly anything because my kids were still living in our family Home and that's how bad I needed to get away from him. I didn't even care leaving it all.
But you know what. I bought a home, and have been slowly filling it up and decorating it my way and making new memories. All the things I left behind, It's just stuff, all replaceable. It was worth it to walk away with not one ounce of regret.