Family making major life decision based on former in-law's "displeasure"

[Poison Ivy]

I have no control over this situation; I'm venting.

My mom is 93 years old. She has been able to continue living in her house because of help, mostly from my sister and with smaller contributions from me and my other siblings. My sister is divorced. Her ex-husband in essence deserted her and their child several years ago by  moving out of state and not contributing financially to their child's care. Then he filed for divorce.

Her ex-h still lives out of state, but he is in our state for the summer. He is living at my sister's house, in another city. He has, since the divorce, claimed that the house belongs partly to him even though the divorce judgment (correctly) awarded it to my sister.

Now he is complaining about my sister not spending enough time with him this summer. At least partly because of this, our mom has announced she wants to move into an assisted-living facility. My sister doesn't think it's necessary for our mom to move yet.

I think there are some good reasons for our mom to move at this point, but I don't think much weight should be given to my ex-BIL's upset.

That's all. Just needed to get this off my chest. Thank you.

[Poison Ivy]

I just spent a few hours with my sister and our mom. I am sad for my sister that she feels stressed and distressed by her ex-husband's behavior but I'm relieved that she said she has no intention of allowing her ex's desire to see her more be the driving force in what our mom decides to do about long-term care.

[Cat of the Canals]

Well that's a relief! This guy has some balls to desert your sister and her child and then demand she spend time with him... is he not clear on what a divorce is???

[Poison Ivy]

Thank you for the understanding and moral support!