I'm here to learn.

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The Inner Light

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I'm here to learn.
« on: July 02, 2021, 03:16:18 AM »
Hello to everyone on OOTF.

I'm an ACON.  I also believe that my sibling has NPD.  Neither my father nor my sibling have been professionally diagnosed.  I am 50.  I am also high functioning autistic, ADHD & GAD (professionally diagnosed), PTSD (a victim of violent crime with a deadly weapon on two separate occasions).  I'm married to a wonderful woman.  My mom died a while ago.  I always said that she and I were so similar in our personalities and my dad and sister so similar.  My mom was the buffer between my dad/sister and me.  She's gone now.  I have no more buffer.  My dad and sister have zero boundaries.

Within the last week my wife started watching a youtube video about narcissists which randomly popped up.  I sat down to watch and minutes into the video we both were incredulous because no question, everything described, fit my sister perfectly.  We watched other narcissism related videos.  I couldn't believe it.  I could not believe how video after video, point after point was 100% relatable to my sister (as well as my dad).  This discovery has been both liberating and deeply troubling.  Deeply troubling because I'm starting to realize how damaging a lifetime of being a recipient has really been to me.

We've maintained LC with my sister for quite a few years now, and since Covid, we have not had any face to face contact for 1.5 years.  However, I see my dad often.

An issue that compounds and feeds the dynamic of the relationship I have with my sister and dad is that they're both devoutly religious and my wife and I are not.  They both firmly believe that it is their moral obligation to preach to us, shame us, guilt us, admonish us, etc to adhere to their faith as they see it. 

I'm hoping to learn from this forum, from other members here and from resources.  The damage and wounds I have from living a lifetime subjected to their standards and their truth as they see it are so deep, to the point that I feel in some ways that I've never been able to truly live my own life; a horrible thought.

Thank you.
« Last Edit: July 02, 2021, 03:23:23 AM by The Inner Light »

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notrightinthehead

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Re: I'm here to learn.
« Reply #1 on: July 02, 2021, 03:24:25 AM »
Welcome! You have found a good place here, full of information and support from fellow sufferers. We are all at different stages on our journey of healing from the abuse we have suffered by the people with PD in our lives.
Get as much information as you can about PD and familiarize yourself with the strategies described in the toolbox tab. Whenever you have to deal with the PDs in your life, apply the tools that are relevant for you.
Looking forward to your contributions!
I can't hate my way into loving myself.