15 years later-Boundaries!

[Setmefree2021]

Here I am, 15 years later and I knew day 60 in something was off. It took 5 years for him to get a diagnosis and since then he has ignored the recommendations, cuts his med literally in half and states if we didnt trigger him all would be in order. 15 years of irrational fears, control, unrealistic standards, jealousy, rage, uncontrolled anger outbursts, frugality but super generous with outside world, drinking to cope, denial of prior diagnosis, need for therapy etc..holes in walls due to his anger, a few police events usually resulting in a warning. Icing on cake, has super high profile position at his employment and everyone thinks he is the nicest, most generous and great guy. NO idea what I deal with at home. I have notified his parents of all after 15 years. I am tired of hiding and covering this up. I am tired of being the servant to his emotions and outbursts. I contacted lawyer, I know what I get, I am all set......just waiting for him to walk away. I have set boundaries w the assistance of a therapist. He isn't doing well w them BUT I feel the best I have ever since we married. I stayed bec I like the easy lifestyle. Just being honest. I will live w boundaries and just do what I need to do to feel free. I am looking for similar situations, advise or thoughts........Thank you!

[notrightinthehead]

Welcome! Sounds you are well on your way out.  Amazing how fast the years pass, when life consists of one drama after the other.  It took me a long time to feel some kind of normal after I got out.  It is a journey and we are on it together. See you around on the boards!

[SonofThunder]

Welcome! Sounds you are well on your way out.  Amazing how fast the years pass, when life consists of one drama after the other.  It took me a long time to feel some kind of normal after I got out.  It is a journey and we are on it together. See you around on the boards!

" It took me a long time to feel some kind of normal after I got out.".  NotRight,  that is something I read repeatedly from different people who have separated and divorced and I hope I remember that if I'm ever separated/divorced from my wife.  I will need to just let the feelings flow and not make any quick judgements or decisions. 

Setmefree, I'm sorry you are dealing with this for so long and that you are able to choose the best path going forward, for yourself and for those in your responsibility.

SoT

[ploughthrough2021]

I have lived with it for 30 years. I wanted to wait until the 3 kids understood the situation before getting out.  Now I am ready !!!