Need help with NC

  • 2 Replies
  • 149 Views
*

TimetoHeal

  • New Member
  • *
  • 17
Need help with NC
« on: July 20, 2021, 11:16:32 PM »
I just broke it off with a very toxic boyfriend about a week ago. We only dated 3 months, but I feel like itís been 3 years. Anyway, I tried to send a thoughtful email explaining things and saying maybe we could think of our time together as positive (I know, I know). You know, the kind of thing you can do when a normal, adult relationship ends. But he responded just today with a very convoluted email that of course blames me for everything and takes no responsibility. I now have to send him a final email that says I want no contact whatsoever. I am really scared of what his reaction is going to be. He says, ďIím not angry or upset per seĒ, but I know thatís exactly what he is.  I donít know why I just thought things could gradually fade out.

Any thoughts on wording or just encouragement would be appreciated.

*

BeautifulCrazy

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • 270
Re: Need help with NC
« Reply #1 on: July 21, 2021, 12:36:31 AM »
Dear Time,

Congratulations on recognizing the signs so early and making your escape!
NC can be so difficult, even after a relatively short relationship.
You can do this!!

A few thoughts you can take or leave...

Do you really need to have the final word?
What's stopping you from considering the relationship over already, and just blocking your ex on all media and avenues of communication?
If he CAN'T contact you and you DON'T contact him, what's the difference?

If you feel you absolutely HAVE to send something final because you think he might escalate, or so you have documented proof, I suggest the clearest, simplest, shortest message possible.

Dear X,
Please do not ever contact me again, by any means. Any attempts to contact me are unwanted and will be viewed as harassment. 
From TimetoHeal

Don't overthink, overcomplicate, or overaccomodate.

Best wishes and hoping that this really is a time to heal for you!

~BC

*

TimetoHeal

  • New Member
  • *
  • 17
Re: Need help with NC
« Reply #2 on: July 21, 2021, 12:49:37 AM »
Hi, BeautifulCrazy,

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply to my post. I am thankful for seeing the signs and getting out ďrelatively ď early, but frankly, Iím embarrassed to be here yet again in another relationship that is so similarÖ🤦🏻‍♀️

As to sending a final email, I was thinking along the lines of having on record that I asked him to stop contacting me. Your thoughts have given me something to think about though. I donít know if I know how to block emails, but I could look into it. I guess he could escalate either way?  Itís hard to know what to doÖ