Is this normal?

[findingmypath]

My husband has been out of control of his temper and emotions for going on 24 or 48 hours.   It's normal for him to get beyond furiously angry about things - yelling, accusing, name calling, insulting, etc.  But he usually gets over it a few hours later.  In the cases where he stays mad for days or weeks, he stays mad but at least the screaming passes.

But he was scream-y and accusatory all day yesterday.  I had a dinner last night for work (colleagues are here from out of town).  I had told him about it last week, and he told me he thought it was important that I was there (I almost always decline any work invitation, including meetings, that are requested after 5PM because he is just too difficult to deal with).   During the dinner, he called me several times SCREAMING for me to come home.  When I finally came home, he had thrown my clothes out on the driveway in the rain, locked all of the doors.   When I came in, he accused me of all kinds of things, yelled at me to leave, and shoved me.   Although he has always been what I would call emotionally abusive, this kind of complete loss of control, for so long, is not normal, even for him.

Today he is still out of control.  He just yelled at our daughter that she absolutely cannot go to play tennis, which she does everyday, for no real reason, and she is now crying.

I guess I'm just at a loss about what to do.  Is this some kind of a breakdown?   This complete loss of self control is usually only directed at me (not at our daughter) and usually a few hours, and then he is back to just being "normal" narcissistic behavior, accusing, etc, but not screaming.

I have no idea what I should do.   Just wait for it to pass?  I have no one to talk to, so I thank all of you for this forum, which has been a wonderful company.

[CagedBirdSinging]

Can you get out of there if at all possible?? Go to stay with family or friends, or book into a hotel for a few days, with your daughter of course. I don't know what else to advise, but I would NOT stay in the house with him if he is raging like that. Please please be careful xx

[losingmyself]

Please, please, follow Cagedbird's advice.  This is not safe for you, and you and your daughter cannot continue to be subject to this abuse.

[Poison Ivy]

I agree with the other posters.

[Boat Babe]

This is horrible. Nobody should be treated like that, especially in their own home. He is very, very disordered right now and this behaviour is scary.  How safe do you feel? Do you have a support network? If so, call on them. If not, then I suggest a Domestic Violence agency.

Better safe than sorry.

[notrightinthehead]

Welcome!  You have found a good place - full of information and support.
I urge you to read the toolbox - what to do and what not to do. You might find some useful strategies there.
You might want to make a plan for the future - what kind of behaviour you are willing to tolerate and where you draw the line. Finding your clothes out in the rain and being shoved might be a good one to draw the line.  Once you have agreed with yourself what you are going to do in such situations,  whether you call the police or you grab your daughter and an emergency bag and remove yourself,  you implement it without fail.
You are working,  do you have control over your finances? If not, how can you become financially independent? 
Can you get emotional support? Counselling? A self help group for abused women? Therapy?  Break the silence and open up to a trusted person?
What your husband did to you is not normal. Calling you during the dinner is not normal.  Screaming at you is not normal. Locking you out of the house in not normal. Shoving you is dangerous.  It might however, be normal for you.  What makes your husband think he is entitled to treat you like that?  How can you put a stop to that?  And how can you help your daughter see that she does not have to accept that kind of treatment from her partner?
Many of us here on this forum started out like you - posting after an episode.  With that we embarked on a journey of healing.  Good luck and looking forward to your updates.

[1footouttadefog]

No it's not normal.

It's dangerous and Unstable.  It's not your fault. His brain chemistry is off and he needs medical/professional help. 

I agree with others, do not stay if unsafe.  This level to which this has escalated is dangerous.

If need be go to a shelter.

It's important to establish that you will not be present for this level of danger and emotional instability.

Next time he pushes you etc, call the police and then follow up with a restraining order.  This will put it in his court to deal with.