What to do re son aiding narc father

[lightupthere]

My ex and I are in court again. Our adult son vowed he would not get involved.
My ex forged the date on some medical reports to support his claims. My lawyer
sends me an email. Our son has come up with an elaborate explanation of how
the forged dates on the reports happened as a 'computer virus' on his father's
printer. My lawyer tells me that judges are not tech savvy so the ex will get a pass
now on his altered documents due to our son's explanation. I can't stop crying.
My son says his narc father said that I would have him 'put in jail for forgery' if he
didn't help him. Why does the narc get off every time ?

[Latchkey]

That is just crazy. Can you get another attorney? Most attorneys and judges have become much more tech savvy since COVID and having to zoom meet and work from home.

Still, it seems your son has now perjured himself. Does he seem to realize what he has done ? 

At any rate, I assume the records with the actual date are now submitted.

I'm so sorry this is going on. I am happy to see you here again, but sad that this nonsense is going on and hope your case still goes in your favor.

[Penny Lane]

Yeah, that is insane, I'm so sorry. I hope it works out better than you're fearing.

[Rose1]

Sadly the pd has no boundaries and the consequences of not supporting them are often out of proportion to the 'crime'. So fear keeps some people continuing the dance. 
Perhaps you could explain to your son the consequences of perjury and that he never needs to put himself into harms way to get someone else out of trouble. Very difficult situation

[sevenyears]

Can you get a statement from a tech specialist to counter your X's lies. You might not want to expose your son though, although he is an adult too... and Rose1 has a good point.

[hhaw]

It's crazy they do SO many crazy illegal things and get away with them, IME.

Forging documents, creating fake PMs...... just difficult to believe, IME.

The thing is.... there's so much crazy stuff.... the courts assume everyone lies and acts nuts in a divorce.

They're overwhelmed and swamped....... all the he said she saids.......which is why it's important to have all your ducks in a row and SHOW the court what's what..... never make an accusation you can't back up.

See..... I don't see this as a loss.

I see this as an opportunity to document... get the forged document, the original..... SEE how the dates have been altered and know computer viruses CAN't changed dates like that, and why they can't change dates.  Be ready to use that evidence when the opportunity arises, and it might just come up in a way that means you get to WIN one, big.

People get tired of the PDs fraud and chaos manufacture once it's apparent, repeated and proven to be willful, IME.

That one final courtroom battle might not have happened yet,but it likely will, IME.

Document like crazy.  Be able to find everything when you need it.  This is a chess game.  The PDs can't bak up any of their accusations, but you can. 

Being able to show deceit in court beefs up your case and helps the PD show everyone who he is.

it's sad your stbx is pulling your son into this.  It's sad he's playing the victim, but that's what they DO.  Consistently. Without fail.

Accept it. 

Let your son know his father will never go to jail for things like this, but they won't be tolerated either....... it's a serious matter that won't lead to jail time, in any case.  It's not yur son's problem to solve. The adults will deal wit the adult stuff.  Son is off the hook and free to deal with his own stuff. 

I never said anything negative about the PD or his family, even though they were really harmful and terrible.... did terrible things... that way the kids were free to love them, if they could and I didnt' make the kids defensive or fearful their dad or grandparents would get in trouble.  The kids felt safe saying what they really felt and I validated it.... never chimed in or said negative things. 

I always always let them know it woiuld be wrong to ask children to choose sides or think about the adult stuff.  I let them know those kinds of choices were very sad and it was OK to ignore them.