Shaking My Head - nMother’s birthday

[looloo]

Yesterday was my malignant NMother's 91st birthday.  I'm NC with her but am her long distance caregiver and POA so I'm pretty much alway on call with my phone available, and am in regular touch with her caregiver.

I am blown away with the birthday wishes for her!!!  Cards in the mail, treats, phone messages for her, etc. 

Gack!   

[blacksheep7]

Isn't it amazing how they portray themselves to others?????   Perfection, Kindness & Love.

My 89 yr old NM fools all the neighbors with her charming smile and persona.

Two-faced.

[SunnyMeadow]

My elderly mother does the same thing, sweetness and light - for a while. Then she can't help bringing out the drama and attitude. People don't last long in her circle. She maybe gets two cards now. My obligation card and another one from a person in a distant state.

looloo and blacksheep, seems like your mothers are better actors. 

[Sneezy]

At some point, I think people are reacting to the number more than the person.  Everyone gets excited when someone makes it to 80 or 90 or above.

Many of my friends from high school adore my Mom.  They send her good wishes on every birthday.  And in fairness to mom, she was a pretty good listener when some of these friends needed a parent figure in their lives.  Of course she was - she loved the high school drama!!!

I try to tell myself that the more other people pay attention to Mom, the less attention I have to pay - at least that's my working theory for now 

[Pepin]

At some point, I think people are reacting to the number more than the person.  Everyone gets excited when someone makes it to 80 or 90 or above.

Isn't this too true?  All of sudden these abusers are elderly and everyone is literally tripping over themselves to acknowledge what a "good"  person they were and are.  How is it that a number is lauded is beyond me.  These people are just like the energizer bunny and keep going with their bad behavior while all the dutiful enablers write it off.

[looloo]

Thank you for your responses-hearing your experiences reminds me that this is "normal" PD stuff, and in the scheme of things, not a huge deal (and yes, as Sneezy says, it lets us off the hook!)

It's so nice to come here and be understood!