How do you stop being traumatized?

[Bunnyme]

 Im sure you are all tired of my posts, so I apologize.  I'm just so anxious.  No child support coming in, and I'm panicking about how I'm going to make it.  I try to let his ridiculous behavior roll off me, but I just cant seem to.  I was basically berated tonight for taking the kids on an outing because I didnt invite him to come with us.  It was a place he has been every day this week and didnt invite the kids.  In what world am I obligated to include him?  I learned a while back not to engage, explain myself, point out that he has not followed our agreement at all.  I just didnt respond.  Taking the high road is taking its toll.

I'm dealing with a major illness in my family, care for that family member is falling on me, work is overwhelming.  I'm just trying to muddle through.  I'm still taking care of the kids, getting the laundry done, and such.  I can still enjoy fun times with them.

I just dont know how to shut off being triggered by him.  I have as little contact as possible.  We were forced together by an event for our child, and were perfectly civil, but he lied, demanded special treatment from others, all the same old stuff.  I sometimes feel like I should stand up for myself, but I know it will just make things worse.  He truly doesnt get it.  In my head, I know that, so why does it all still bother me so much?  Have any of you done something helpful for c-PTSD besides talk therapy?  There are times I feel strong and like I can put it behind me, and then I fall right back into the hole.  I want to get past the trauma, but his actions keep re-traumatizing me, especially the financial abuse, so healing seems impossible. 

[Bunnyme]

In true PD fashion, today, he actually used the app he has been avoiding.  Then he proceeded to tell me how after his parenting time, we can all hang out and get dinner.  Um, no.  I dont get how they can just pretend that nothing happened. 

[D.]

That sounds very stressful.  It's hard when you have to have contact w/triggers in order to raise children.  I had a similar situation several years ago.  I wish I had understood what was going on at the time so kudos to you for recognizing the source.  I think I blamed myself for a while before I even realized uPD almost-ex at the time was the source.  If it's an option, you might consider looking into EMDR.  I just started and wish I had done before.  I think it could have really helped me be more present for my own kids during the process.  Talk therapy helped, but it was still so hard...

I also journaled a lot, participated in Out of the Storm (sister sight to this one), relied on Faith and friends. 

Good for you on reaching out here.  And for being aware.  I hope that things start to get easier for you soon.

[hhaw]

If you have the time and resources for therapy, please research trauma informed therapists in your area.  They'll have different tools in their toolboxes.... like EMDR, Reike and Buddhist leanings...... nothing forced on you, but made available to help you understand what's happening INSIDE your brain, your neurobiology, your biochemistry so you can address the causes, process them and rile them in historic files.

You don't have to suffer.  You're looking for relief and that's the beginning of feeling better, IME.