Therapist- not feeling it

[Justme729]

Ive been seeing a therapist now for about a year and half.  It's been good, I have felt a good bit of healing.   But since we started doing EMDR I just don't feel the same.   It almost feels like the trauma is too much.   I don't know.   Something doesn't feel right.    On top of that, she's only in the office 3 days a week.   I work full time and a part time job.   My part time job is two of those days.   The third day I don't get off work until 4pm. 


I don't feel like I'm in a 100% good place, but I know my husband says just part ways.  Find someone closer to our house with more evening availability.   Current is an hour away.  I'm just torn on what to do.   I know I need to process the trauma.   But I also would rather focus how to change thinking in regards to current life events.  I get stuck into old habits easily.

[notrightinthehead]

Sounds like you need a break from the trauma work.  I remember that in the course of therapy there was a time when I felt that I did not want to face my crappy childhood again. I wanted to focus on the now and what I could do about the future. Later I came back to my childhood once more, but more to the teenage years that had different experiences.
For a while I had to travel far to see my therapist and it was worth it. Then it felt like it was too much  and the outcome not worth the effort and I started to look for another one.
Listen to yourself and trust yourself. Even if you make a wrong decision, you can always correct it.

[nanotech]

This might be helpful -
I'm waiting for some trauma fixed therapy at the moment.
I'm wondering if the therapist closes things, and brings you nicely back into the present at the end of session?
If not, it might really help for you to do so in some way.
Treat  yourself afterwards with something that is HOT DOG AMAZING in the present- cuddles with husband, affirmation with husband, affirmation mediation/ yoga, your favourite meal, favourite tv show, have your hair done, nails done.
Rather than ruminating on what's been dealt with in session, think of it as diminished or even gone?
Visualising helps - imagine your past t in a bubble floating away, getting smaller and smaller until it's a mere speck in the vast, embracing beautiful blue sky, which is your present, and is so full of joy.
Hope this helps!  Xx

[JustKat]

If distance and availability are a problem for you, maybe you could find someone who does online visits. I have difficulty driving due to my anxiety disorder, so getting to my psychiatrist (who was quite some distance away) was starting to add to my trauma. Once the pandemic started my psych shut her office down and started doing telemed visits. She's back in the office now but is giving patients the option of staying with online visits if they prefer it. I'm less stressed all around because I don't have to make that drive.

If reliving the trauma is becoming too much for you, it's okay to take a break. Give yourself some time off to focus on your work and home life. When I spend too much time reliving my childhood trauma it can start to consume me to the point where I can't sleep or start having nightmares about it. Therapy can really help us deal with childhood trauma, but can also stir up old memories that are just too stressful to deal with. I think it helps to find the right balance between talking through the trauma and focusing on just being kind to yourself. Like Nanotech said, relax with a good book or movie, or treat yourself to a spa day. You deserve it.