Making a kid rehearse a parents death

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Writingthepain

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Making a kid rehearse a parents death
« on: August 29, 2021, 10:09:22 AM »
When I was 4-6 my mom used to spend the time driving me home from school discussing what I would do in the event of her death.

Bit of background, at the time she was a healthy fit 20 something, was divorced from my dad and determined that in the unlikely event of her death I should not go live with my dad.

So she would spend every return afternoon drive making me rehearse the court case that she was sure would ensue in that situation. What I would say to the lawyers and what I would say to my dad and especially what I would say to the judge.

Not only what I would say but how I would say it. She would have me practice the words and tone even, screaming at me until I got it right.

Most of the time I would be crying my eyes out by the time we got home. I did tell her often how much it distressed me to talk about the subject but to no avail.

Just what was going on here? A control mechanism? A total mind screw up??

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SunnyMeadow

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Re: Making a kid rehearse a parents death
« Reply #1 on: August 29, 2021, 12:30:01 PM »
I'm completely shocked that a mother would do this to a child. So cruel and unnecessary to stir up this turmoil. I barely know what to say about it. A total mind screw up, yes.

A woman who hated her ex husband so much that she took it out on you. What a way to get back at him if she did die. His daughter having a script to say about not living with him. I'm sad that you went through this. ♥
« Last Edit: August 29, 2021, 12:36:22 PM by SunnyMeadow »

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Hattie

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Re: Making a kid rehearse a parents death
« Reply #2 on: August 29, 2021, 07:18:45 PM »
This is frank abusive and also very, very odd. In the theoretical situation that a parent died, I seriously doubt that the child's fate would be decided in a courtroom style interrogation. It sounds pretty paranoid/ delusional of your mum. But mainly it sounds like she had no empathy for you, was creating a scene that was all about her, and was being narcissistic and abusive. I'm sorry you went through that. It sounds extremely traumatising
Love is patient; love is kind.
It does not envy; it does not boast.
It is not proud. It does not dishonour others.
It is not self-seeking. It is not easily angered.
It keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

1 Corinthians 13: 5-8.

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Andeza

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Re: Making a kid rehearse a parents death
« Reply #3 on: August 29, 2021, 08:27:13 PM »
This left me speechless for a while. I'm so, so sorry you went through this. It's completely delusional. Psychotic even. There's no excuse for her behavior. It's absolutely monstrous and twisted that some pwPDs get their supply from the tears of children. That's the stuff of nightmares, or Grim's fairytales even...

Thank you for telling us, and I hope that the validation you find here will help in your healing. Not an easy thing to face by any measure.
Remember, that there are no real deadlines for life, just society's pressures.      - Anonymous
Lasting happiness is not something we find, but rather something we make for ourselves.

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Writingthepain

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Re: Making a kid rehearse a parents death
« Reply #4 on: August 31, 2021, 11:49:13 AM »
Thanks everyone for your support, theres so much in my past that was insane. I dread to think how screwed up I am because of it.

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Maxtrem

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Re: Making a kid rehearse a parents death
« Reply #5 on: September 01, 2021, 11:40:25 AM »
Hi, I'm sorry you had to go through this at such a young age :( My great-grandfather who was surely a sociopath managed to hurt many of his children through his will, long after his death. Maybe some PDs want to make sure they can get revenge/manipulate even when they are dead... but the idea is pretty scary!