It's full on B. S. Crazy time here.

1footouttadefog · September 03, 2021, 04:40:42 PM

Wow oh wow,

Waiting for my DD to come home so I can drive my pdh to the hospital. I praying the drive can be safe.

He has been complain I g that he cannot breath
He had been to the ER twice and seen his ent several times and been shown thst his nose is clear.

He is panicking an doacing and faking all sorts of symptoms.

I cannot even leave the room that he does not escalate things. I am waiting it out these next couple of hours but he will be a psychiatric intake somewhere tonight. He will if all works well be discharged into assisted living somewhere.

I am done. Cannot live this way. Sadly he will likely be in a nursing home or psych place soon.

square · September 03, 2021, 06:04:31 PM

How are you feeling?

I felt a mixture of sadness and relief reading your post.

Cascade · September 03, 2021, 06:21:34 PM

I hope everything goes well and you get the freedom you deserve. Hang in there!

Poison Ivy · September 03, 2021, 06:23:33 PM

What Cascade and square said.

1footouttadefog · September 03, 2021, 08:12:50 PM

We are at a VA hospital and waiting for a psych Doc. He has already seen a regular MD and lab draws and specimens have been drawn.

square · September 03, 2021, 08:34:03 PM

Keep us updated.

Andeza · September 03, 2021, 10:48:06 PM

We'll do everything we can to help support you through this, come what may. Admittedly that's limited given the situation.

Sending strength your way.

Sounds like he finally, as WomanInterrupted would say, let his freak flag fly.

1footouttadefog · September 04, 2021, 01:13:19 AM

He was taken in and admitted to the psychiatric program. Not sure how long etc yet.

I spoke with a social worker/case manager and made it clear he would need a discharge to a long term care facility or group home etc.

After the level of disregulatiin we have been enduring and then suicide talk and crying on the floor, then rage, and being in the edge of violence, and being stalked in the house etc. None of the three of us feel safe alone with him and will not any time soon.

I let them know that if he was not discharged somewhere I would go to the magistrate and have him involuntarily entered into another facility repeatedly until I could find an arrangement.

He HD several melt downs there with a bouncer/cop/nurse in the room with him.

So sad. I thought at one time If I could just have an overnight a week away to garden and go to church near my little shed cabin, I would get rest and enough break to keep healthy.

Then it got worse. I have spent one night in that cabin in 2years. Escalations and kray kray have made me not want to leave him alone or alone with the kids..

I thought later perhaps he could live in our rental house and come over one night a week for dinner etc and maybe meet him for lunch out weekly.. Things deteriated so much it was clear that could not work.

Then he started selling our stuff to get attention etc and I had to stop that. He eventually ran out of stuff and stole from our purses and quit paying the bills. I caught him trying to get into my daughter's college money. I then took guardianship.

I think this will make this upcoming part much easier.

His mind is blown. Something is terribly wrong.

notrightinthehead · September 04, 2021, 01:25:56 AM

Sending you a big hug! You are so strong, please take time for yourself, even if it just is a cup of tea on a comfortable chair, doing nothing for 5 minutes.

1footouttadefog · September 04, 2021, 05:05:17 AM

Just got some decent sleep.

My kids are here, and there is no noise in the house.

Amazingly no noise. It's something we would often comment on when he was out for lunch or when he still drove. He could be sitting in his chair in the kitchen doing nothing but there was still constant noise.

I hope that he will be able to be at peace and find comfort in an assisted living environment. Maybe the simplification of life and the removal of all responsibility and expectations will be comforting.

square · September 04, 2021, 07:44:31 AM

I hope so.

Even if that is the case, expect a rocky transition.

1footouttadefog · September 04, 2021, 07:56:03 AM

Just got a call from PDH. He had had breakfast, but was complaining that they gave him no meds last night.

This was a little surprising as they have all his script in file. He said they are waiting his time and if he does not need to take meds there he dies not need them when he comes home on Tuesday.

I suggested maybe they wanted to clear his system since so many intakes have taken extra or illegal drugs and that they might give them tonight.

I also indicated they might want to reevaluate all the meds. He said fine he won't be able to sleep or breath for 4 days. He was most upset they took his saline spray that the ER nurse gave him. He had taken an entire bag of otc and prescription nasal sprays rinses and devises.

He said they did not even let the ER nurse up there and he did not think he would see an ENT Doc. I told him they need to get him calmed down before that could happen but that his physical health issues would be addressed.

So very sad.

square · September 04, 2021, 09:56:59 AM

My H was admitted to psych ward for a weekend a few years ago. They took everrrrrrything. I don't doubt they would take nasal spray.

Dunno about the meds. In my H's case I think they switched them up but I have no idea about when they started dosing.

1footouttadefog · September 05, 2021, 06:01:51 AM

I totally understand why they take everything. A high percentage of folks in there have just been violent towards others or have tried to harm themselves or others and many are strung out on meds and substances.

My pdh saw a psychiatrist yester mdsy around lunch time and his previous medicine regimine has been reestablished. She called me around mid afternoon. I emphasized that there would need to be a discharge into a residence living or assisted living situation. Gave her a run down of how we have been living here and so forth.

Hopefully he got to sleep last night. I missed a call when I went for groceries and dog food. He did not call the cell.

These next few days will be hard emotionally. He will oscillate between mania anger and child like expression confusion and fear.

It will hurt to hear the child negotiating and saying I'm sorry, please......

I hope and pray he will be able to find a new normal and be at peace.

square · September 05, 2021, 11:45:17 AM

I hope so too.

1footouttadefog · September 05, 2021, 11:50:55 AM

Did not call last night. He has not called today.

That signals alot.

It tells me several things.

He does not want my company.
He does not want to apologize
He does not want to talk to the kids and check on them.
He does not want to let me k ow how he is doing.
He is likely all of the above and angry.

It could also mean he has gotten even more erratic.

I hope it means he has found some other folks to chat with and talk veteran stuff with and that he is living off of attention and narc supply from others.

I suspect that I will be easily replaced. I will find that a good thing as it will be best for him

1footouttadefog · September 08, 2021, 06:41:21 AM

The calls are very stressful. They alternate from angry to desparate to surly etc etc.

Not one call has shown me any empathy for what I am going through.

I looked at what came up when I searched the symptoms he has experience and what has built over time.

Psychotic break was the majority of hits. He checks almost all items in list on site after site.

This reinforces that this is not something I am able to deal with. He is going to get a full MRI of head. So glad we will finally have that.

Lauren17 · September 08, 2021, 09:18:18 AM

You are going through some amazingly difficult times right now. Frightening. Sad. And maybe a bit of a relief?
If so, I hope you're not feeling guilty over that relief. This sounds like an extreme situation. One that needs professional help.
Im so glad that you've found that for both of you.
As you've told so many of us here: don't neglect to take care of you.
Hugs.

1footouttadefog · September 08, 2021, 11:49:37 AM

It's tough. Some incompetent social worker told him he could come home and go to senior daycare. I am waiting to here from them later today. This will be a stern and assertive convo.

I have talked with a couple of assisted living facilities with memory care units and they don't think they can deal with what I described. I am a potition where I will not be revealing any info they dont ask for to the rest.

I believe he will likely behave for other people a great majority of the time and if not they can call 911.

As we all know they treat non SO 's better.

He gets an MRI this afternoon also. We will know more soon. It can at least rule out some possibilities.

In the mean time they are giving him pills for anxiety. Why have we not had those for all of these 15years????!!!!!!

And I am supposed to deal without those same tools.

square · September 08, 2021, 01:36:02 PM

The social worker thing, the same thing happened when my dad was in a position he was no longer able to come home. It was hard enough for us all to deal with it, hard for my dad and hard for my mom. My mom was crystal clear that she could not care for him at home (and she truly could not, it wasn't even close). And then some damn social worker blows sunshine about him coming home. It was horrible, and caused days of renewed agony for everyone.

I was on the lookout for her because I was going to confront her, which is saying a lot because I'm a mouse. Fortunately for her I never ran into her.

Didn't this also happen to WI with Ray? Ugh.