Opening up

[Bee_hive]

I've been looking for somewhere I could talk to like minded people for a very long time. Being stuck in your own head is a lonely place. I've spent countless hours reading and trying to understand why I feel the way I do and understand the choices I've made. I grew up with a father that was emotionally and physically abusive. My mother enabled him. I married at a young age and had my first child a few years later. My wife went through some changes and left me and my one year old son. Feeling abandoned and unloveable the first woman that paid me attention latched on to me. We had a son together and all seemed normal. Over the years she isolated me from everyone and I couldn't see the forest from the trees. Our son together was diagnosed with a PD at a young age. Our oldest son died from a drug overdose and left us with a two year old grandson. My W has PD and we've never had a loving relationship. I have felt alone most of my life and feel over sensitive to most situations. I do see a T on the regular but an hour a week doesn't scratch the surface.
I'm looking forward to opening up. This has taken a lot of courage but it's a start.

[notrightinthehead]

Welcome! This is an informative and supportive site. Sounds like you are still together with your wife. You might want to study the Toolbox and start implementing the tools that are appropriate for your situation.  Medium chill, non JADE and boundaries were the most important for me.
See you around on the boards!

[guitarman]

Welcome. You are not alone.

Keep calm. Stay strong. Be safe.

[Bee_hive]

Thanks for the welcome. I've been studying the toolbox. Some of the tools I'm aware of and use. I look forward to spending some time on the boards.

[TinyFish]

I read your post and I fell so sorry for you. I hate myself when someone says they feel sorry for me because  I need always be strong in my head, but loosing child is the worst fear of mine. I cannot imagine how any parent can overcome such loose, and if any even find a strength to cope an bit with their life after such event are the people made out of rock.
You are not alone.... We here for you