I made it through a tough day

[JustKeepTrying]

Today I moved the last of the items I wanted from the house.  Of course, my xOCPDh was there.  The house looked like a horror film or an episode of hoarders.  Piles and piles of stuff.  With signs and comments like "someone will use this". At one point in a run to a donation center, a bag broke and it was filled with what most people would consider garbage.  This has been a sticking point in most of our marriage but today I shuddered when I entered the home.

It's been more than two years since I left and by court order, he was supposed to be out by last march.  But one thing after another and it was postponed.  Now I still am struggling with getting him out.  He claims he will be out by end of next week.  That gives me a little time to clean the house.  i am seriously thinking of hiring some people to help.  We lived there for 28 years.  A lifetime.  Yet all that remains is garbage.

But that isn't what I am happy about.  It has been a tough few weeks - and there will be more hard weeks - but I made it today with jadeing.  without snapping.  without sniping.  I heard his little digs and side comments to hurt me.  But all I could do is look around and see this completely disgusting mess (really think hoarders) and it was almost representative of his soul.  his essence.  unable to make decisions or throw anything away.  So I just let all the comments slide by while I looked elsewhere and knew in my heart I would never have to deal with it again.

That felt good.  I am close to the finish line and I think it will be over soon.

Whew.

[Free2Bme]

Oh JKT, that is a rough day for sure. 

I don't think I would have been as strong as you though. 

After the years and the memories, I would have been overwhelmed with sadness.  Not to mention all the other conflicting emotions that go with seeing the exH, dealing with the garbage, etc.

I know you have been dealing with health issues as well.  I hope this difficult task will result in peace and strength for you for the challenges ahead.

[Sapling]

 JustKeepTrying

Good on you for making it through this tough day "with jadeing.  without snapping.  without sniping." You've been through an ordeal and you're walking away from a situation that was no longer workable for you. That took a lot of courage and heart.

I think hiring some people to help is a great idea! You don't have to do everything by yourself. If it would help to get some extra hands on the job- go for it.

I wish you well as you move through the home stretch. Well done again on moving the last of your things with minimal dramas. You've done well 

[SonofThunder]

JustKeepTrying,

Congratulations on your very strong self-control using the toolbox, and pressing forward on your goals for having the house vacated!  I wish you continued strength and optimism as you are taking things one day at a time in great progress.   

SoT

[1footouttadefog]

Stay strong take care of you.