In-laws waiting/hoping for our divorce

[bumblebee44]

My ubpd/n MIL and BIL along with the flying monkeys FIL & SIL(married into family but comes from a VERY dysfunctional family herself) have made it very known since the beginning they can't stand me.  Our wedding was the breaking point where we mostly went our separate ways other than LC with mil & fil. 

We have been together just about 11 years now.  When we first got pregnant (after wedding) my Ubpd/n MIL threw an absolute fit.  She left our house after the news and called my husband later to yell at him.  She made it pretty known she was hoping we would split up instead of have kids.  We now have 2 children (our first that she screamed about was a still born little girl).  We had them for coffee this weekend and my MiL still made comments about waiting for certain events (like a time capsule my husband and brother buried out at their family cabin).  I asked what they were waiting for and my MIL was fairly obvious about waiting for us to hopefully split up but not saying the exact words. 

It sucks and it all still hurts my feelings.  I came into this relationship with no way to win.  My in laws want their sons to themselves and to do whatever they want.  When my husband wasn't willing to move out to live by them and visit on a nightly basis, I immediately became the scapegoat.  Their reasoning was that I had brain washed him and I control him into doing what I want.  Wtf, I barely was even apart of the moving conversation! 

I wish I had normal in-laws that functioned at an emotionally mature level instead of making everything be WW3. 

That's my vent for today, thank you for listening. 

[engineer31]

Bumblebee, I am so sorry for your loss. I get it. My MIL and FIL also think I have brainwashed my H. Because there's NO WAY that he would "dishonor" his parents and keep THEIR grandchildren away from them. Last year NO ONE in his immediate family acknowledged my birthday and MIL was posting stuff on social media inferring that we are bad parents, etc. And then, for our anniversary she sent a gift. I swear she's the queen of narcissism. Everything I say and do is wrong and I'm with you, I came into this relationship with no way to win. They are awkward and fake when I come visit but complain when I don't. They have always made sly remarks about us moving to where they live (DH hometown in the middle of nowhere) and I used to laugh it off, but it got to the point where I DESPISE when they bring it up. DH and I will never move back there. He knows our marriage is flourishing the further we are from them, and I'm sure it KILLLSSS MIL that all HER GRANDBABIES can't grow up together. My DH has heard about all the things my IL's have said about me behind my back (all not true and very mean and hurtful) and he has no desire to be around them anymore. So when he stands up to them they think it's actually me and my fault and have told him that they will talk to him once he's "thinking on his own" .

I wish I had normal in-laws too. I feel like we're on WW15 now??

[Pepin]

I totally get where you are coming from and have been married for more than 20 years.  Like you, I never had a chance.  DPD MIL knew at some point she would have to let go of GC DH and while it seemed like she did, she dug her heels in deeper.  After our wedding reception as we were packing up to depart, DPD MIL dropped the top tier of our wedding cake (that was supposed to be saved for later) when the caterer handed it to her.  Of course she did it on purpose because she was pissed that I had her son's attention now as his wife.  Her apology was disgusting and fake.  She showed zero remorse, couldn't look me in the eye and actually laughed.  I will never forget that.

I am sorry your are going through this, too.  The only way this will end is if our DH's see it, too -- and I don't know if that is fantasy talk or not.