He still canít let it go

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Stillirise

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He still canít let it go
« on: September 11, 2021, 12:42:59 PM »
Just popping in to say, ďhello,Ē to all, and give a brief update.  Itís been over 3 months since our divorce was final, after a nearly 2-year separation and divorce process. Overall, life for myself and the children is going great.  I have primary physical custody, and they seem to be adjusting pretty well, most of the time.  I have met someone, and itís going well, though we are still taking things slow.

The uPDXh however, still gets randomly triggered, going on rants.  Itís pathetic and sad, in a way, that he canít just stop, and move forward with his own life.  I have him blocked for calls and texts.  He purchased some sort of app that allows him to send spam texts, around my block.  They come from a different number every time, so they canít be blocked.  My current solution is to filter them to a spam message folder. I have to check it occasionally, as notifications for appointments, order pick-ups, etc., land there too. Iím letting him dig a deep hole with the messages.  I recently insinuated that I was compiling all the messages to file harassment charges. That has temporarily paused him.  When it comes down to other people seeing him as he is, heís ultimately a coward.

Anyway, I donít think there is a lot else I can do at this point.  I just wanted to check in, and say, even with his persistence in harassing me, itís still so much better than living that way in my home, everyday!
You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, Iíll rise.
óMaya Angelou

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Boat Babe

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Re: He still canít let it go
« Reply #1 on: September 13, 2021, 10:18:54 AM »
Just goes to show that they lack the capacity for change. How sad.

You however have made huge, courageous changes in your life and your life is improving daily. Hats off to you 😊😊😊
It gets better. It has to.

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Stillirise

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Re: He still canít let it go
« Reply #2 on: September 13, 2021, 12:08:48 PM »
Thanks, boatbabe! I think the key takeaway from your reply, that may help others, is:
At any given time, Iíve never felt particularly courageous, or felt I was making a huge change.  It was all the small acts, over time, and with my eye on the end goal, that have gotten me to this point.

Also, if you think they will genuinely change, they will not. Thatís a complete non-starter.

I so appreciate everyone here!
You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, Iíll rise.
óMaya Angelou

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2nice

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Re: He still canít let it go
« Reply #3 on: October 01, 2021, 08:43:52 AM »
sorry to say i left with the kids 4 years ago. he still acts as if it was yesterday. i donít expect it to change anymore. good on you. stay strong

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Stillirise

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Re: He still canít let it go
« Reply #4 on: October 01, 2021, 11:25:58 AM »
Thanks!! I realize it will never be ďoverĒ for him, but hopefully the times between his rants will continue to gradually increase.  This week, heís back to Mr. Cooperative. I try to maintain GR, and go with the flow during these times, with one weary eye toward the next flip of the switch.  We are entering the quarter of the year that historically has been most triggering for him.  Canít wait.  :bigwink:
You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, Iíll rise.
óMaya Angelou