He still can’t let it go

[Stillirise]

Just popping in to say, "hello," to all, and give a brief update.  It's been over 3 months since our divorce was final, after a nearly 2-year separation and divorce process. Overall, life for myself and the children is going great.  I have primary physical custody, and they seem to be adjusting pretty well, most of the time.  I have met someone, and it's going well, though we are still taking things slow.

The uPDXh however, still gets randomly triggered, going on rants.  It's pathetic and sad, in a way, that he can't just stop, and move forward with his own life.  I have him blocked for calls and texts.  He purchased some sort of app that allows him to send spam texts, around my block.  They come from a different number every time, so they can't be blocked.  My current solution is to filter them to a spam message folder. I have to check it occasionally, as notifications for appointments, order pick-ups, etc., land there too. I'm letting him dig a deep hole with the messages.  I recently insinuated that I was compiling all the messages to file harassment charges. That has temporarily paused him.  When it comes down to other people seeing him as he is, he's ultimately a coward.

Anyway, I don't think there is a lot else I can do at this point.  I just wanted to check in, and say, even with his persistence in harassing me, it's still so much better than living that way in my home, everyday!

[Boat Babe]

Just goes to show that they lack the capacity for change. How sad.

You however have made huge, courageous changes in your life and your life is improving daily. Hats off to you 😊😊😊

[Stillirise]

Thanks, boatbabe! I think the key takeaway from your reply, that may help others, is:
At any given time, I've never felt particularly courageous, or felt I was making a huge change.  It was all the small acts, over time, and with my eye on the end goal, that have gotten me to this point.

Also, if you think they will genuinely change, they will not. That's a complete non-starter.

I so appreciate everyone here!

[2nice]

sorry to say i left with the kids 4 years ago. he still acts as if it was yesterday. i don't expect it to change anymore. good on you. stay strong

[Stillirise]

Thanks!! I realize it will never be "over" for him, but hopefully the times between his rants will continue to gradually increase.  This week, he's back to Mr. Cooperative. I try to maintain GR, and go with the flow during these times, with one weary eye toward the next flip of the switch.  We are entering the quarter of the year that historically has been most triggering for him.  Can't wait.