Expecting multiple apologies

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11JB68

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Expecting multiple apologies
« on: September 13, 2021, 12:11:55 AM »
Updh was smoking on the porch. I was cleaning up from dinner and opened the door, dropped a bottle into the recycle box. It made a louder noise than usual/expected. Updh startled, exclaimed something. I said oops sorry, went back to cleaning. Then he pounds on the back door, I go out and he yells what the f was that?? Me: what? Him: that was fn loud! You know I don't like Loud noises they startle me!  Me: I know, sorry. Him: don't do it again! Me: ok.
He comes in and there's more of him explaining to me why what I did was bad, him saying sorry he got so angry, but what I did was bad etc.
Later, him: are you mad at me? Me: no
Later, him: are you mad at me? Me: no.
Much later, him: I'm sorry I got so mad earlier. Me: ok. Him: AND....
(SO then he was angry that I wasn't apologizing again for making a noise...
In my mind it was not on purpose, I said sorry twice, I said I would avoid doing it in future. And I felt good reaction was way out of line.
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1footouttadefog

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Re: Expecting multiple apologies
« Reply #1 on: September 13, 2021, 02:52:10 AM »

Feelings are facts with PDs, your act of tossing something made a disproportionate amount of moise lead to him having a disproportionate amount of fear.  So the fact must be that your action was over the top.  Since he cannot possible be wrong, heust be a victim.