Divorce hearing yesterday - My nightmare is over

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Happytobefree

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Divorce hearing yesterday - My nightmare is over
« on: September 15, 2021, 10:10:01 PM »
My divorce hearing was yesterday via Zoom, for which I am very grateful.  I had my 2 best girlfriends with me for moral support sitting out of camera view.  He was not required to appear, since I was the plaintiff and the hearing was taking place in my home state (he moved to another state into our "dreamhouse"). 

My lawyer was there, obviously, his lawyer was there, as well as the judge.  My Narc ex allegedly had issues with his video camera, so only his voice was there at the hearing.  This is a man that works from home and has meetings all day via zoom.  All of my friends who know him are calling bullshit on his camera not working.  lol

So because I couldn't see his face and his withering glares towards me, I couldn't stop smiling.  When the judge stated that we will get the divorce decree in the mail within a few days and that it was over, I raised my arms in the air in victory!!  I am absolutely confident that he saw because neither he nor his lawyer had logged out yet.

My lawyer immediately called me and he said, "It's so nice to see you so happy! Thank you for allowing me to fight for you and not taking the easy way out."  Bless his heart.

Almost 1 year to the day of me telling Narc ex "I can't do this anymore," and 18 mths of marriage, we are officially divorced. 

It was worth the fight.  Thank you all for your sage advice, encouragement, and virtual handholds.  I could not have stayed as strong without you. 

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Poison Ivy

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Re: Divorce hearing yesterday - My nightmare is over
« Reply #1 on: September 15, 2021, 11:09:13 PM »
Hurray!

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11JB68

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Re: Divorce hearing yesterday - My nightmare is over
« Reply #2 on: September 15, 2021, 11:32:03 PM »
 :woot:

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SonofThunder

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Re: Divorce hearing yesterday - My nightmare is over
« Reply #3 on: September 16, 2021, 10:01:31 AM »
Congratulations on your personal victory and freedom.  I wish you a continued healing journey!

SoT
Proverbs 17:1
A meal of bread and water in contented peace is better than a banquet spiced with quarrels.

2 Timothy 1:7
For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.

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PlantFlowersNotWeeds

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Re: Divorce hearing yesterday - My nightmare is over
« Reply #4 on: September 16, 2021, 10:58:13 AM »
Congratulations - this reminds me that someday I will be able to post the same news.
A nightmare, but a worthwhile journey. :D

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losingmyself

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Re: Divorce hearing yesterday - My nightmare is over
« Reply #5 on: September 16, 2021, 11:24:03 AM »
Congratulations!! :phoot: :phoot:

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Happytobefree

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Re: Divorce hearing yesterday - My nightmare is over
« Reply #6 on: September 16, 2021, 05:44:46 PM »
Thanks everyone!

I am very much aware that my situation was not nearly as complicated or drawn out as most others here.  Having only been married 18mths with no children on either side (he HATES children, probably because he can't control them) with no division of property because I had kept my house, it made for a relatively clean cut divorce.  It was only when he tried to bully me into paying me back a fraction of what I loaned him that pulled the trigger on me lawyering up.  Oh, and when he texted my best friend saying "Happytobefree" isn't well" and "evil happytobefree is back" that only added more fuel to the flame.

But I believe that the sick feeling of despair and the nights of hysterical crying praying for the pain to end, feeling like we're losing our grip on reality, and wondering what the hell happened to the loving person I married is the same for all of us. 

It never was love.  That's my conclusion.  He didn't want a partner, he wanted staff.

I hope all of you are able to see a light at the end of the tunnel. 

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Boat Babe

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Re: Divorce hearing yesterday - My nightmare is over
« Reply #7 on: September 16, 2021, 05:56:18 PM »
 :yeahthat:
It gets better. It has to.

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Boat Babe

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Re: Divorce hearing yesterday - My nightmare is over
« Reply #8 on: September 16, 2021, 05:56:49 PM »
And congratulations on your divorce.
It gets better. It has to.

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sejrussin

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Re: Divorce hearing yesterday - My nightmare is over
« Reply #9 on: September 17, 2021, 07:44:14 AM »
So pleased for you, congratulations. Gives me some hope, although I have a long long way to go and a lifetime of mess and complications to resolve before Iím free.

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Happytobefree

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Re: Divorce hearing yesterday - My nightmare is over
« Reply #10 on: September 17, 2021, 10:14:09 AM »
So pleased for you, congratulations. Gives me some hope, although I have a long long way to go and a lifetime of mess and complications to resolve before Iím free.

Keep your eye on the prize and never let your focus waver.  One day at a time!  Hang in there!!

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Lauren17

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Re: Divorce hearing yesterday - My nightmare is over
« Reply #11 on: September 17, 2021, 11:56:14 AM »
Congratulations!
Thank you for posting.
These messages give me hope that Iíll be there one day, too.
Iíve cried a thousand rivers. And now Iím swimming for the shoreĒ (adapted from Iíll be there for you)

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DetachedAndEngaged

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Re: Divorce hearing yesterday - My nightmare is over
« Reply #12 on: September 20, 2021, 11:05:17 AM »
Congrats!

Glad you made to the finish line in one piece.