Sigh, when will it be over?

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JustKeepTrying

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Sigh, when will it be over?
« on: September 17, 2021, 12:07:13 PM »
I walked out more than two years ago and I am in the final throws of severing the last legal connection.  Selling the family home of 30 years.

Just like I predicted - and I have begged him to begin the process months if not a year ago - he is moving this weekend and suddenly everything is important and answer this text now and all the stuff I knew we had to deal with now.  NOW.  And the house was stuffed full before but the kids assured me they were cleaning it out and now, when I was finally allowed in - it is like an episode of hoarders.  Gross and nasty.

I am peppered with text the past few days and he wants it all done now yet I'm not allowed in the house (actually legally I could be but I have been respectful because I am trying to keep a relationship with the kids). Like how am i to list the lawn mowers when I can't even take a picture to donate them but he doesn't wan them listed until he leaves but I have to list them now.  The thought processing is mind boggling.

I am angry but I will keep reaching into the toolbox and using medium chill.

I just want this over.  It is a nightmare and has dragged on far too long.

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Poison Ivy

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Re: Sigh, when will it be over?
« Reply #1 on: September 17, 2021, 01:31:04 PM »
I'm sorry you're having to deal with this, JustKeepTrying. I got the house in the divorce, and a big part of the reason was that I knew my ex would struggle with the same types of things your ex is. Fortunately, I didn't have to sell the house so I've been able to do things like cleaning and getting rid of things at a "regular" pace. Meanwhile, my ex lives in the house he grew up in, and even now, two years after his parents died and his caregiving duties ended, he doesn't clean much and he hasn't thrown things away.

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Stillirise

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Re: Sigh, when will it be over?
« Reply #2 on: September 17, 2021, 02:50:24 PM »
Iím sorry youíre in such a frustrating situation.  It seems once they get themselves worked into crisis mode, everyone else is expected to sit in it with them.

My updxh still has items in a storage building that I now own.  I think I will probably have to start posting his things for sale online, for him to actually show up, and get his stuff. However, Iím not ready to confront that drama yet!  Remember they thrive on drama and on making us uncomfortable, or on us losing our composure.  Iíve just given up on so many little things that I used to think were important to me. My peace and my sanity are more important, though!   Donít give him the satisfaction of acting like youíre bothered in the least! Hang in there! It sounds like the finish line is in sight!
You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, Iíll rise.
óMaya Angelou