First time crying in front of a counselor.

[sambellscoup]

In all the years I've been going on and off to different counselors, I actually felt safe enough today that crying just sorta happened. It just dribbled out. It was a new experience for me to cry and not be punished or ridiculed. For a supportive response to happen instead. For crying not to be a dangerous thing.

That itself is a whole process of its own for me. I'm now processing the fact that I cried and it wasn't dangerous, I wasn't threatened for doing it, or bullied, I was supported and given the space for it to happen.

My tears are not abnormal. There is nothing freaky or f'ed up about my tears. They are normal and they are natural. And I don't deserve to be forced to lock them all inside. I didn't deserve to be treated that way. I don't deserve it now.

I deserve the freedom to cry. And I deserve to feel the trust in other people around me that they will not be cruel about it. And truly, they're more likely to be exactly the opposite. Because that's what's normal.

[SonofThunder]

Amen sambellscoup!   That sounds like a breakthrough for you!  Enjoy the salty taste of those wonderful tears of release and the eyewash that comes along with it!   Glad you have someone to comfortably cry around! 

SoT

[1footouttadefog]

 Very often processing emotions, while painful at the time, leads to healing and a rediction of their burden.