New here

[Cooleitherway]

I am new here and have learned a lot by reading this website and finding out what personality disorders are and how they differ. I am married to beautiful lady that is my junior by 17 years and have been seeing our relationship deteriorate over the last two years since we married.  We have known each other for 4.5 years. I have a 12 year old daughter from a former marriage that was adopted. I have been seeing the same counselor for about 12 years. I am turning 60 in a few days. I felt like I should give you a little back ground.
Last week my wife started watching a TV series called " Deadly Women ". One of the episodes was about a woman that killed her boyfriend and cooked him in a stew pot. At the beginning of the episode the talked about the traits of borderline personality disorder.  My wife backed it up like 5 times and listened to the description. Then looks at me and asks if any of it sounded familiar. I was scared to answer. I went to see my counselor last night and she turned me on to " Out of the FOG". So that's how I found you. Now I hope I can fit in to this community as I really need to know it's not just me and that others are in the same predicament as I am and I'm not alone.
No doubt I love this woman but the abuse she puts out is really unbearable at times. It upsets my days ,nights and almost all of those that touch my life and our many different relationships. 
I hope I can make some friends here and work through and learn more about personality disorders and how to cope and maybe even help my wife out. But I must be honest also and say I'm really feeling close to the end of my line.
Thanks for listening
Scott
     

[bloomie]

Hello and welcome. It's so good to hear the resources and info here has been helpful to you. I am thankful you found us, yet so sorry for all you are going through.

Getting support from a community of people, like you will find here, that understand, believe us, and who are grappling with inexplicable and distressing behaviors from a loved one and who are also building resilience and tools has been one of the most important things I have done for myself and I hope you find that to be true as well.

We have several boards where you may find relevant topics as you settle in:

Chosen Relationships
Common Behaviors
Committed to Working on It

and other boards that have more resources and one for Working on Us. So... a lot of options to engage in conversations, ask questions, make connections with others.

The toolbox at the drop down menu is something I return to often and very helpful.

Something I learned when I first came here that I want to share with you that we call the 3 C's Rule or Mantra goes like this: I didn't cause it, I can't cure it, I can't control it.  The only thing we can ever truly control is always and only ourselves.

More found here: https://outofthefog.website/what-to-do-2/2015/12/3/the-3-cs-rule

I look forward to supporting you as you journey forward. See you out there on the boards!