Silent Treatment

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PlantFlowersNotWeeds

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Silent Treatment
« on: October 16, 2021, 11:42:40 AM »
So....I'm living in the same house with my soon to be ex.

His new strategy towards me is the Silent Treatment . I do appreciate this, but it sparks my curiosity.  How can he shut off all his emotional anger towards me so quickly?  It actually makes me feel nervous - like what is he going to do now?  Does he have something horrible planned for me?  The quiet makes me feel very unsettled.   Is there any stage or tactic he is going to use?

I'm thinking that I feel like this because my life has been in turmoil for so long, that this quiet is just a drastic change.  I know I should be grateful, but again......I have this 50 pound weight in my gut that I can't get rid of.  Of course, living in the same house feels like prison.  I cry almost every time I drive home.....

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Lauren17

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Re: Silent Treatment
« Reply #1 on: October 17, 2021, 02:50:00 AM »
I’m very sorry you’re struggling.
My stbxh is a master at ST. I’ve found that the best response is to ignore. I start a project, do chores, whatever, with the radio on while singing and dancing.
It’s interesting that your stbxh has switched to that. Mine had switched to being as attentive and nice as possible. And, I’m having the very same reaction you are. What’s he planning? When is the anger going to come out? How can I protect against it?
Stay strong. There’s an end in sight.
I’ve cried a thousand rivers. And now I’m swimming for the shore” (adapted from I’ll be there for you)

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SonofThunder

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Re: Silent Treatment
« Reply #2 on: October 17, 2021, 04:17:57 PM »
I’m very sorry you’re struggling.
My stbxh is a master at ST. I’ve found that the best response is to ignore. I start a project, do chores, whatever, with the radio on while singing and dancing.
It’s interesting that your stbxh has switched to that. Mine had switched to being as attentive and nice as possible. And, I’m having the very same reaction you are. What’s he planning? When is the anger going to come out? How can I protect against it?
Stay strong. There’s an end in sight.

I second Lauren17’s   “ I’ve found that the best response is to ignore. I start a project, do chores, whatever, with the radio on while singing and dancing.”  I also like to wear my Bose35 noise cancelling headphones so I don't hear my wife's intentionally loud silent treatment antics mixed in with my choice of music or relaxing nature sound playlists.   

My wife slams doors, mumbles her frustrations regarding me to herself just loud enough to hear, walks heavily on the floor above me, yells/screams a loud “uuggghhhh” from somewhere in the home to try her best to let me know how many problems and frustrations im causing her.  The comfy (and fantastic sounding) over-ear noise-cancelling headphones also create a visual and physical barrier that she must overcome to get my attention and the visualness of my wearing conveys that nullifying ‘ignore’ that Laren17 suggested. 

Best $300 I've spent in many years.  Love them SO much i refer to them as my “good friend, Mr Bose”. 

SoT
Proverbs 17:1
A meal of bread and water in contented peace is better than a banquet spiced with quarrels.

2 Timothy 1:7
For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.

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PlantFlowersNotWeeds

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Re: Silent Treatment
« Reply #3 on: October 18, 2021, 11:44:11 PM »
The rollercoaster of their behaviour is so exhausting. I'm really trying to disengage. I realize that my husband probably never loved me, it's sad to type this, but true.  I was a means to what he needed. He used to really  make me laugh, but @3 years ago it was like he didn't want to try....too much effort. I remember asking him to do this impression that was spot on. He looked at me, shrugged, and said no. Strange memory.   

So much was fake to manipulate me, take advantage, make himself look good....the lies.....ugh

I embrace this silent treatment because it's another step towards freedom