Is this typical behavior of NPD?

[BigBird]

Recently I saw in "laughing at NARC's" a statement that said this: 

"When a Narcissist discards you, it means that they couldn't break you. No matter how much abuse they put you through ----- you still had standards, self-confidence and self-worth.  You were a mirror to their dysfunction. Take their leaving as a compliment."

Is this a true behavior of many with cluster A or NPD's.   

This is a family member, my daughter in her 30's exhibited NPD characteristics all her life.  We certainly enabled her in hopes that we were helping her.  When the abuse was destroying my wife's health the counselors we sought help from told us we needed to cut her off financially and have her mom go "no-contact" with her.   

Since then we all (except mom) have tried numerous times in the last two plus years to have her be involved with family but she has made it very clear that she wants nothing to do with family anymore.  Our family is very close with each other with the exception of this daughter.  The stress and chaos is no longer present since her communications have stopped. 

As parents and siblings we all recognize that she is mentally challenged with some kind of personality disorder that causes her to act the way she does.  As her dad I reach out through the months to let her know we all love her but knowing also that it's best not to have a conversation as it never ends up positively.  I wish things could be different but in realty I know for the family sake it's best when they can distance themselves from her and for her it's best so she can learn to be self-reliant and responsible.

We all feel sad for her as she is the only one not married or with children.  Her actions have always reflected that she doesn't have the drive or desire to have a family of her own.  I'm still trying to understand her, but also understand I might not ever be able to do that.

Any answers are very appreciated.  Thanks

[Simon]

That's heart-breaking BigBird.
Even though it was the right thing for you to do, it's still your daughter.

I think you meant Cluster B in your above post, btw.

As for a Narcissist (or any Cluster B for that matter) leaving because they couldn't break you, I think this is very typical.
They don't like losing control of people.

Personally, even during the worst devalue stage of my relationship with my BPD ex gf, I was still enjoying going to work, enjoying some of my hobbies, still had a positive outlook and demeaner (for the most part), and still enjoyed life.
Sure, there were aspects of my life that weren't as good as they used to be, which I was unaware of while I was still in the relationship, but a lot of my boundaries remained in place.
I thought that she would respect this healthy attitude I have to life, and that it would help her, but as I know now, that was not the case.

There are incidents that spring to mind that demonstrate this.
One is where she was having a rant about anything she could, just to get me to react and argue with her, and due to an accident in the Gym  (I dropped a barbell on my toe, and I had a black bruised toenail for several weeks, lol), she looked down at my toe as I was sat on my sofa, and she started having a go about that, saying "That ugly fucking toe", etc (she was trying anything to get me to react), and I just looked at her and said calmly "Oh, so you're mocking me now, are you?".
She didn't know what to say or do, and after a few seconds, she said "Yeah, I shouldn't do that." and went into the kitchen.
Of course, after an hour or two respite, she would try again with something else, but that line, which I used on several occasions, and other calm responses finally led to the discard, so she could be with someone I know to be a push-over and easily controllable.

And I think that's typical.
When they feel they can't control you any more, then there's no point in having anything to do with you.
You are of no use.
I know your situation concerns a family member, but I honestly don't think it will be seen any differently by her, whether she's Borderline or NPD, etc.
People are objects to use, and when you protected your wife from your daughter by keeping your daughter from having contact with her, you were no longer of use.
You had all become aware of what your daughter was doing, which meant that she could no longer control or manipulate you or her Mother.

I Hope your wife is feeling better now.
My worry for you is that you reaching out to your daughter (which is understandable) will one day be seen by her as a way to get back into contact with her Mother.
Was her Mother her primary supply, the person she manipulated the most?

I think you're going to have to play a delicate balancing act with your daughter, because another typical behaviour is the Hoover, in which she may decide to take you up on your olive branch, just to get things back to how they were, and put them back in control.
She may even have you apologizing for what you did. 

As sad as it sounds, I think for the sake of your wife, and yourself (because as a famous book on this subject rightly says, "The body keeps the score", and it may be affecting your health more than you realise), you've done the right thing.
Even if your daughter was to have extensive therapy (which is something she might "Promise" you in the hoover), chances are she wouldn't commit to it, or even if she did, there's no guarantee that she would be able to do more than "manage" some of her traits at the end of it, many, many years later.

I wish you luck.