Updh only seems to care what others think

[11JB68]

I used to love Halloween. So many holidays, events, etc have been ruined or made stressful or just not very fun due to updh's antics.
This year I am just exhausted and honestly a bit depressed.
Updh never shows any interest in Halloween other than to constantly tell me he hears people coming so I should run to the door. This year for lots of reasons I decided not to bother. Didn't buy candy. At some point later today he asked me, it's Halloween right?  As we're discussing dinner plans etc. I said yes but I'm not giving out candy. Him: oh, why, when did you decide this and why... Etc. I said: too much bother we don't get many kids etc. Him: oh, well ok.  (Honestly talking about it made me sad. I used to LOVE Halloween)
Later, after he has been out many times smoking on the porch, he came in and announced that next year we should give out candy.. . Because it's a social convention and you're supposed to do it etc ... Sort of a what will people think kind of thing...
Got annoyed at me when I tried to argue the point a bit. I finally said I'll see how I feel next year
Bottom line, I feel like he doesn't care at all if I like something or not, out what I want to do... As long it doesn't make him look bad.
Blah

[PlantFlowersNotWeeds]

"Bottom line, I feel like he doesn't care at all if I like something or not, out what I want to do... As long it doesn't make him look bad."

This is your experience, how you felt at the moment, so it's real to you.  Maybe he does care, but you didn't feel it.

I hope you can find a way to enjoy the events in your life the way you want to.  I am working on GR, one day at a time. 

My suggestion would be to try to not loose yourself - remember what you enjoy and what you want to do.  Don't miss out on these opportunities and memories because of your spouse.

A few years ago I wanted to start playing golf again - my husband made it difficult - lots of why do you want to do that? are you playing with men? are you going to find a rich man? (of course, all "jokes"), teach me how to play, why don't you want to teach me? who are playing with today? why play today? 

Okay, you get it.  I didn't give in to his attempts to get me to not play.  He tried to make it so miserable so that I would quit.  I didn't quit.  I'm so proud of myself for sticking with it - I love playing and have met some very nice women.  I love being outside, the green grass, and I've improved a lot too.  It's my time. 

I missed out on a lot over the years - this is what I would tell my younger self -  Don't give any one the power to take away something that gives you joy.