Me me me me me

[Cat of the Canals]

I don't think you're being unfair. It's a perfectly reasonable boundary to ask someone to stop dumping their anxiety on you. If he doesn't want to do anything about it then tell him, "Worry away, but keep it to yourself from now on."

Of course he won't, so just be ready in the future to say, "Dad, if you have nothing else to say but a list of all the things you're worried about/have been worrying about, I'm hanging up."

[p123]

I don't think you're being unfair. It's a perfectly reasonable boundary to ask someone to stop dumping their anxiety on you. If he doesn't want to do anything about it then tell him, "Worry away, but keep it to yourself from now on."

Of course he won't, so just be ready in the future to say, "Dad, if you have nothing else to say but a list of all the things you're worried about/have been worrying about, I'm hanging up."

I don't want to be mean - I know older people do worry. BUT he refuses to get any help or speak to someone because he believes it doesn't exist.

I explain to him its crazy the things he worries about. I've explained it puts pressure on me and its not fair. He just shrugs his shoulders and says "you know me, I worry and I can't help it".

Its  hard to explain its like someone taking a big blanket, covering you with it, you can't see then them saying "I'll keep you safe!"
I doubt he'll ever change to be honest.