Had a dream last night.

[Simon]

Had a funny little dream last night.

I was with my BPD ex gf, we were out somewhere,  and she was thinking of buying something.
She didn't have enough money, and instead of saying something like "Lend me the money, will you", or something similar, she just looked at me and said "Buy it for me!".
(Btw, our relationship was never about money, and this sort of thing never happened in real life. I never told her how much money I have, and I'm so relieved she never found out, because I suspect she would have kept her claws in me for even longer if she'd known).
I think it was only £20 or £30, and I pulled out some money from my pocket, started to separate some notes, and then stopped and looked at her and said "No!".
She looked at me and said nothing, but I felt really guilty for saying no.

Then I woke up.
I was led next to my new gf, who was fast asleep.
I got up, made a coffee for her, and woke her up with it.
It was like I was saying "Thanks".   

The dream was only a few seconds long, but the feeling of guilt for saying no was very strong, at least in the dream.
In the real World, I have no problem with boundaries these days, because I keep a close eye on them, and I don't have any abusive people in my life any more, but it still made me think.
And it's telling that my first thought was to do something nice for my current gf.

Just thought I'd share that with you.
Nearly 2 years out, and they can still touch a nerve, even in your dreams.

[Penny Lane]

On the other hand, even in your dream now you have good boundaries!