back again

[Beautifulmess]

Hello,

          I am back Out of the FOG--- i went back to my UNPDbf for a couple more rounds.... well since I deleted my old account in 2019, I went back 4 more times. I would assume at this point I have hit the 7x statistic. And trust me, it gets worse each time. The way I get spoken to, yelled at, cursed out, manipulated, mistreated, and taken advantage of has gotten worse and worse with each passing year. I decided to re-listen to PSYCHOPATH FREE by Jackson Mackenzie again to refresh my memory. It's so weird how I can understand and see it all and still be able to go back. Watching it happen over and over, I continue to hurt myself by accepting this type of treatment. So, here I am, looking for a safe place to share my lessons or connect with other victims of NPD, while I heal and move forward.

Does anyone else who chose a NPD boyfriend/girlfriend have a uNPD parent that is so similar... when you get around your parent they trigger you to the point that you want to argue, even if the parent isn't the current problem? I notice that I reject closeness with my family due to their unacceptance of me going back to my ex over and over. I have developed closer relationships with my ex's family than my own. I resent my family and I can never understand why I have such a hard time staying connected for long periods of time with my own parents and siblings, throughout my life.

<3 beautiful mess <3

[Olive]

Hi Beautiful Mess,

Why are we all on this forum?  People gain great insights from the experiences they work through and an uNPDbf can feel like a healing salve because the depth and insight are real.  Your family is uniquely tuned to keep your role in place.  I'm sure you know that.  Healing begins by establishing healthy boundaries and recognizing what is best for you.  The occasional epiphany is not a relationship.  A relationship can only be had by someone who is willing to share the hard work of change and growth. I don't see anything wrong with giving a relationship some space provided it's growing. 

[notrightinthehead]

Welcome back Beautifulmess. I realized many years into my marriage that I had married my abusive mother. Or at least someone who treated me like she had. I had a skewed version of what love was supposed to look and feel like.

[xredshoesx]

<quietly raises hand>

i dated a man so much like my mother it was scary.  in my mind fixing him would fix my childhood issues.  about to celebrate 12 years with my DH who i met about two years after the last final for real and i really mean it this time breakup with my uPDexbf.

[nanotech]

I managed to find a total manipulator who nearly ruined my life, but not quite!  And where there's life there's hope! Welcome back!