Give me strength

[Boat Babe]

Give em heaven on a plate and they'll make a face.

[SunnyMeadow]

Except for mom.  She got bored and phoned a friend   

That's a lot of nerve!    Now you have a good reply for when she says "I never see my grandchildren".

[moglow]

The mind boggles, all these similarities. I mean, I get it. Holidays are stressful, there are all these expectations based on Hallmark and Norman Rockwell pictures and the push to celebrate/decorate bigger and earlier every year. A lot of people/us are frankly burned out by the time they get to the actual holidays, have so little left to work with.

One of my family "favorites" - our family is split by distance, youngest and his family are several states away and family gatherings are very rare. Our last Christmas together was about 12-14 years ago now, they came over with two of their three children, we all gathered at oldest brother's house for the day with various friends who couldn't [or chose not to!] be with their families. Md spent her day looking through jewelry catalogs, talking to non-family members, whining about the one of her grandchildren who wasn't able to be there. She didn't actually interact or spend time with the family who *were*.

I left for a few hours to take a friend to the airport - while i was gone, md insisted on picture of her "and her children." Pictures were supposedly taken, no mention of one of all of us when I returned and I've never seen any of these pictures since. Even better? She maintains that I've somehow isolated her from her family since I live/work in same town as older brother, driven a wedge between them. Our last conversation when she went off on me about my supposed involvement in separating her from her sons, she swears this visit never took place at all, that I made it all up. But whyyyyyyyy?

Boat Babe, seriously - I know you know this but consider refusing to discuss this with her further. She can't melt down and take you with her if you don't allow it. You really do deserve so much better than this bullshit.

[Boat Babe]

Thank you Mo x

[p123]

Oh, anything is possible. She has a track record of Xmas dysfunction. One year she threw all the food away the morning I was driving down. I had to buy Xmas food from the motorway service station. I can't tell you how jolly and merry that was.

You mean the turkey and xmas dinner food?

Nothing as nice as that. She had bought a ton of frozen buffet nibbles (I know) to go in the microwave (I know). I had offered to shop and cook but that had been turned down because mess (I know). Anyway, she turned the freezer off at the plug the night before (who does that?) and threw the partially defrosted frozen food away. This was Xmas morning. That's bonkers right?  I'm amazed I'm sane sometimes.

Oh yes that is indeed crazy. Why turn the freezer off?

Saying that my MIL is like this. Wife found out she hadnt used the cooker for 3 months because "didn't want to make it dirty".
Now that is crazy as isnt it? ITs a functional item that, ok needs to be kept clean for functional purposes but it exists purely to cook food, NOT to look good in the corner.
Then again, MIL has got a whole room, with furniture in that she never goes into, no-one is allowed in, its just a shrine to cleanliness in there Very weird.

[losingmyself]

I'm sorry, I wasn't paying attention. I was daydreaming about what I'm going to pack when we all go hang out at BB's quiet retreat for Christmas.

Do I have to bring my own wine? Or do we all just get a bunch of community wine to share?
So much to prepare...

[moglow]

I'm sorry, I wasn't paying attention. I was daydreaming about what I'm going to pack when we all go hang out at BB's quiet retreat for Christmas.

Do I have to bring my own wine? Or do we all just get a bunch of community wine to share?
So much to prepare...

YES!! Um, Boat Babe ... Change of plan!