Hiding things

[Cascade]

A few years ago I misplaced something that was valuable to me, something that my pdh had given me before we were married. I looked diligently for it but never found it. The thought that my husband had hidden it entered my mind but I never seriously thought he would stoop so low.  Sure enough, my husband came up to me the other day and said he had something that belonged to me, and there it was! He admitted that he had hidden it because he was angry with me.  I feel like this item has now been ruined, with this new memory overriding the romantic memory I had of it from before.

[losingmyself]

They sure like to do that, don't they?
I was cleaning on top of my kitchen cabinets a couple years ago, and found a necklace that belonged to DD. I never said anything, just put it away. Maybe he was waiting for the satisfaction of her panicking and looking for it. Apparently, she never missed it. I'm sure he was disappointed.

[SonofThunder]

" I feel like this item has now been ruined, with this new memory overriding the romantic memory I had of it from before."

Wasnt that the point of his choosing that particular object to hide?  Its interesting to me, what object he chose, in his anger, to represent his control of you.   

Hmmm.... I know of a few things i owned that I cannot locate any longer 🤔

SoT

[escapingman]

My daughter lost her watch she had been given by my dad when she was out with uNPDw. She had apparently taken it off when eating and then forgotten it. I find it very hard to believe although it could be true, but my suspicion will always be on uNPDw taking it or "helping" my daughter forget it.  I was back a couple of times to the place she lost it and they did not have in the lost property which backs my suspicion.

[Lauren17]

Stbxh hid a least one, very personal gift he'd given me as punishment for an imagined insult. He waited until I was in a near panic searching for it to bring it out. This actually came up in our one, failed, marriage counseling session. He denied that it ever happened.
Now that I'm thinking about it, there are other things that have mysteriously gone missing over the years. Many of them vanished out of my jewelry box.
My current T was appalled when I related the story to her.

[Cascade]

Thanks for your replies.  I'm sad that some of you have also experienced this. I have decided not to wear this piece of jewelry for the time being, and am surprised my husband hasn't commented on it yet, since I used to wear it most of the time.

[1footouttadefog]

My pdh used to hide things.

I realize now that he likely sold some of them.

He used to hide things to sabotage me and make me look more incompetent. I am ADD and struggle with things anyway. 

I remember items disappearing for keeps and some that miraculous reappeared.  It was as if he wanted points when they reappeared yet it was obvious he had caused them to disappear. 

I think he sold some of our things at pawn or resale shops over the years.  I can see that the disappearances line up with times he was manic. 

Oh well just stuff, but the deception is what hurts.  This is why he is little more than a Ward, a man child to me. I no longer seek any intimacy emotional or otherwise from him.  I no longer have adult conversations with him.

[blunk]

I had a couple of items of jewelry disappear around the time my bpdxh moved out.

When I asked him if he had seen them he said that the last time he had seen them they were in a drawer. They never left my jewelry box, if I wasn't wearing them.

I can understand one, he bought it so he may have felt entitled to take it back. But the other was a ring that I bought for myself, and it wasn't of any particular value.

I guess I'm just glad it wasn't any of the heirloom items from my mother and grandmother.

[Boat Babe]

One of my friends had, for a while, a very disordered housemate. Looking back now, she was very disordered. Anyway, a few years later, my friend had a birthday party and the housemate turned up and gave her a necklace. I remember my friend standing there, a bit stupified, saying ,"That's my necklace. You've just given me my own necklace." Tumbleweed across the party.

[GentleSoul]

Reading this thread has made me realise that late uPH h used to hide things too.  Things of his though that he then said I had thrown away or lost.