Nice waif mom wants to talk

[IntoTheLight]

I know other waify people with BPD turn into witches. My mom does not. She has to see herself as nice always. She always does the "right" thing. Because of this, I never viewed her actions as abusive until I was in college and a counselor told me she was abusive. Even then, I viewed it as unintentional and didn't hold her responsible. I understood my Ndad's abuse when I was 8. Once I heard about NPD, I knew he had it. But it took me forever to pin my mom's PD down. Lots of lit on BPD has the witchiness front and center.

I hear what you are saying. I knew my mum could be mean, but I also never realised all the emotional care I gave was not healty as well and that this is not normal. I now know it is full force parentification. I am learning now (I am 45) that I can have bounderies when people try to claim too much emotional care. And that I can be indifferent to the way they react to my boundery. Shame and guilt have no place in healty relationships. I was not aware of this before, but I'm learning....