mind reading

[escapingman]

My ex-husband seems to think that it is humiliating to ask for help and even to accept help in certain situations. One time, our car got stuck in a snowbank, a passerby offered to dislodge the car, and I could see and hear my ex's emotional struggle, as I encouraged and reassured him that it was fine to accept the assistance. I think my ex feels a conflict between liking to be taken care of and believing that as a man, he should be able to do certain tasks (such as getting a car unstuck).

This one, I have been involved in many times. One example was when we had bought a new house and was renovating and had builders in. Me and my wife (at that point I had no idea about PDs) wanted to be in the house to do speak to the builders and do some jobs and asked pdMIL to look after the kids for a couple of hours. She refused and instead went to the house and started cleaning the windows. I was then shouted at by both pdMIL and pdFIL for not being grateful and thank for the unwanted help.

[Poison Ivy]

I tend to want to be very independent, too, so I can also understand the struggle. But sometimes there are things we can only accomplish if we receive help. That was the situation with the car stuck in the snowbank.

[escapingman]

I tend to want to be very independent, too, so I can also understand the struggle. But sometimes there are things we can only accomplish if we receive help. That was the situation with the car stuck in the snowbank.

My uNPDw would say no to help offered and then complain that no one helps.

[Poison Ivy]