Returning Member

[RainbowG]

Hello Friends,

I've actually been a forum member for years, but I was away for a long time. I can't find my old introduction thread (assuming I wrote one), so I'm starting a new one. Things have changed so much since then anyway.

Both of my parents and sister are PDIs. I'm hesitant to identify a specific PD for them, so I'll just briefly describe their main difficulties: father and sister are controlling and condescending and mother is dependent and manipulative.

I was NC from my entire family for about 10 years because that was the only way I knew how to cope. I did a lot of healing during that time and reconnected with my sister in 2012. I reconnected with my brother and parents when COVID hit.

My contact with everyone is MC and mostly through emails or text messages. My main reasons for returning to Out of the FOG is that my parents are aging and I'm finding it difficult to deal with. They want more from me than I'm willing to give, so I'm finding myself frequently having to fight them. A lot of the burden is falling on my brother because my sister decided to go NC last year, and I'm struggling with that too.

I'm in a place of greater acceptance regarding the problems my parents and sister have, but I also accept my own limitations and that I can't be the person they all want me to be. I'm so grateful that there's a subforum here on dealing with elderly family members! I've been reading the posts and getting a lot of help and comfort from them.

Thanks to everyone for being here!

Rainbow

[xredshoesx]

I completely understand.  The current difficult person in my life is my MIL.  I'm not sure if she has a PD or not, but I sure know she shares a lot of the behaviors/ reactions of the folks other people post about. 

As our relationship has ebbed and flowed over the last 12 years between NC and her completely ignoring me at family gathering to like MC where we talk about really, really generic things..... I can see where we may need the support from the members in the elders section because she was already trying to live with each of her kids on a rotation at 60 so she could retire... either way, the good folks here have helped me through and gotten me the perspective i needed to not lose my stuff over her stuff.

see you on the boards!