Hi

[Cathat]

I am new here.  I looking for knowledge to live with this disorder.  I have been with my spouse for 22yrs . Last year he was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder.  He is an alcoholic and for the past 20yrs I thought we were dealing with just that. Done rehab serval time been sober for 11yrs till this summer, melt down with Covid, job loss,   I now seen a pattern in his behaviour.  He ticks pretty much all the boxes.  He is getting help .Mental health got involved.  There has been violence, more pending charges. Blended family isn't so blending.  I'm living separately in 2worlds my adult children and him . His daughter is Switzerland.  She is become so valuable to me. I feel alone.  I will read as much as I can. But I never know am I making it worse..did I handle a situation well?   His reaction now being on meds is better, but not always.  Could use a friend that understands my struggles

Thank u

[guitarman]

Welcome. You are not alone.

I have an undiagnosed BPD/NPD sister. I now define her as my abuser and I am her target of abuse.

Sorry to read about what you are experiencing. Apart from this forum you may like to contact your nearest carers centre. They should be able to help you more. Hopefully you have one near you. My local carers centre in the UK has a mental health carers support group that meets once a month online and also offers individual support.

I always recommend watching the author and counsellor Kris Godinez on her YouTube channel called "We Need To Talk with Kris Godinez". She specialises in Narcissistic Abuse Syndrome and how targets of abuse can cope better. I have found her advice very helpful.

Keep calm. Stay strong. Stay safe. Keep posting.

[Worthy of Care]

Welcome, Cathat. What you are going through sounds really painful and confusing.