The blame game

[Cathat]

Pretty sure my BPD H would blame me for Covid if he could right now.  His actions have got him charged with assaulting my son. Who was protecting me from him. During a melt down this summer resulting in him finally getting mental help.  We are living separately, but I thought we were trying to work stuff out.  He isn't taking any responsibility for what he did and he is blaming me for everything. He Is lashing out with threats to having the kids charged for sibling fighting years  ago and destroy my relationship with the kids who r all adults.  I understand he is trying to make me choose him and that he needs to know or feel he is 1st and priority. I know he is scared, I understand   But how can I defuse him.  He needs to settle down. He is making everything worse.

[Worthy of Care]

That is a really painful, confusing, difficult situation. I'm sorry that your are dealing with all that.

[square]

You can't defuse him. You are not responsible for him.

[blacksheep7]

I'm  sorry for this difficult episode.  A man that lashes out,  assaults your children, that comes between you  or uses them as a weapon is NOT trustworthy.  Period.

An ex partner blamed my children (late teens) for many things with no reason or truth when our relationship was going downhill.  I moved out.  He still wanted to have a relationship with me, without my kids being present... ...yeah right

I couldn't believe what he had told me. 

You can't defuse him. You are not responsible for him.