Is this what you call getting triggered?

[Cascade]

When I come across a photo of my Pdh unexpectedly, like if he sends me a selfie (which he does quite a lot considering his age) or in a situation where I wasn't expecting to see a picture of him, I react. It's almost like if I see an insect that I dislike. Is this called getting triggered? This doesn't happen if I'm looking at a bunch of photos where I know there will be photos of him, just when I wasn't expecting to see his face in a photo.

[JustKeepTrying]

I recently had my DD say "I'm sorry if that triggered you."  And I didn't know what she was referring to initially.  She has asked for info and I told her my xOCPDh/her father had it.  I wasn't triggered but my reply may have been flat and direct.  Kind of unemotional.

When I am really triggered it is like my world tips on it's axis; my chest feels tight and I struggle to respond or I respond defensively.  In fact, most of my defensive responses are due to being triggered.  I believe it is when you react to the emotion - however you react - it's the emotion of trigger event.

So if seeing your PDh in unexpected photos sends you into anxiety; or provokes a visceral emotional response - then you are triggered.

[1footouttadefog]

If it was me, my reaction would be due to the fact my pdh had found away to put himself into what I was doing when he was not even there with me.  It would be annoying that I was being bullied into giving him my attention by remote control.

I wonder if you can change the notification for texts from him to silent. 

I am sorry you are feeling uneasy by these intrusions on your attention. 

[Cascade]

Thanks justkeeptrying and 1footouttadefog. Maybe my reaction isn't strong enough to be considered being triggered, based on what you've said. I have at times put my phone on silent but I forget to check it as often as I should, and then people get upset with me for replying hours or in some cases a whole day later. Weird thing but on a similar theme, I notice my husband sending selfies to others too, co-workers he says.  But what co-worker wants to see random selfies of my husband doing nothing of interest? I wonder if he is just making the whole thing up, because he has a long history of making things up to "make" me jealous. I also notice he changes his profile picture on social media or gaming sites a lot, so maybe he's just using some of these for there.

[1footouttadefog]

I did not mean to imply that you are not triggered.  It sounds like you are having a pretty strong response.

I tend to try to get to the emotional root of such things and was describing that.  I think I might have backspace over a sentence or two when editing.  Sorry.  To clarify I then went onto mention what it be for me as an underlying emotion if it had triggered me.

It's precisely the posting of selfies part of the social media cultires that is its biggest turn off for me.

People updating their pics followed by an avalanche of "you go girl" , "wow your beautiful" , and things like that.  It's really creepy when the repost an old pic and everyone chimes in like that.

I get the needing to hear texts come in.  That I why I was wondering if you could limit just him.

I hope you dont stay as triggered by this.  Perhaps you can find what is behind the strong reaction and apply some tools to reduce the discomfort.

[JustKeepTrying]

I think that it is very different for all of us.  Don't think my experience is standard.  If it is triggering for you and evokes a negative emotional response - then its a trigger.  1foot is right in that you should, when you are able, look at the root cause and consider the why.  Knowing the why can help you in a bigger understanding of your situation.

I also think it's ok to not reply right away.  To expect an immediate response to a text is inappropriate.  If they say they are worried you didn't respond, then why didn't they call.  Texts are not meant for that.  There is absolutely nothing wrong with waiting to reply.