trying to calm down

[wisingup]

That's my mom too.  She envisioned a retirement filled with days of lunch and shopping with me & my two D's.  Nevermind my full-time job (which annoys her) or the fact that I despise shopping.  She is endlessly disappointed in me as a daughter & I hear all about her sister's kids & grandkids who do so much for my aunt. 

My brother is not under the same expectations & whatever he does is wonderful.

[Sneezy]

I despise shopping. 

I am 100% with you on this.  If there is a hell, I'm sure it's located in a shopping mall.

[wisingup]

Lol, Sneezy  - so much of my teen-hood was filled with shopping trips where she would buy me what she liked, but not always the things I liked.  I was pressured into buying and wearing things I hated.  I shop ALONE when I have to, so no one pressures me into anything.  If a salesperson approaches, I am OUT OF THERE.

Anyway, possibly there is a mythical creature out there similar to Big Foot, heretofore known as "EED" (Everyone Else's Daughter).  There are regular sightings by our mothers apparently.  Maybe someday I'll encounter a real life EED.

[Boat Babe]

  Hahahahaha

[lkdrymom]

Your husband is right.  No matter what you do it will never be enough.
Just because she is alone does not mean you have to call her so much.  Call her the number of times you feel comfortable with, not what she wants.

The mysterious EED.  My grandmother used the line "They said..."  When I would ask who "THEY" were she would just say "They " louder as if I should know these mysterious people.  And THEY always agreed with her...funny

[wisingup]

Lol, my mom always compares herself to her sister & how much her kids/grandkids do for her. 

Well, my aunt's 2 daughters are not in a position to do much (one special needs, one lives across the country), but she has 5 granddaughters and at least two adult great-granddaughters in the area. all of whom she has warm, close relationships with.

My mom just has me at this point, & our fairly poor relationship.  She does have 3 granddaughters, but has not come anywhere close to developing the kinds of relationships with them that her sister has with hers.   Somehow she still thinks we're all supposed to do a bunch of stuff for her though.