My whole family are enablers...

[Marmiteh14]

So the long and short of it is that my mum has been verbally and emotionally abusive for as long as I can remember. I was always terrified of her, which meant for me to be on best behaviour whenever we were out of the house.

Even with all of this going on, as an adult looking back, I'm sure there were some signs. But I didn't socialise, friends never came over, I never went anywhere, so there was no-one to notice. Except for my extended family. I have many many aunts and uncles, who I spent a lot of time with. I now realise that they didn't see anything wrong as that's how they were raised and how they were raising their own kids.

I've cut them all off. I don't need people in my life that don't care. I haven't had a conversation with them, I just haven't given out my address and I've removed them from social media. I'm now starting to get messages from relatives (through my dad) asking where I am and what's wrong. I literally haven't spoken to them in around 2 years but now they've noticed social media it's an issue 
FU Zuckerberg 

[Hilltop]

2 years and they have just noticed, I do wonder if your mother is using them as flying monkeys.   If you are happy with being NC with them and not interested in a relationship I would let the enquiries die a natural death.  Eventually they will move on.  I think it's natural that people are interested where someone is and what's happening with them but in disordered families there is usually more to it than random gossip.

I don't know what your relationship is like with your dad.  I would possibly let him know that you are not interested and for him not to pass on your contact details including your address.  He doesn't need to say this to relatives he could just tell them that he told you they were looking for contact and he passed it on to you.  Then just let it sit. 

I gave up FB a while back and don't miss it at all, it was in the news recently that FB shares and users are falling, I guess people are over Fakebook.

[GentleSoul]

Sorry you have this going on.  I went through a similar situation.  What I did which worked very well was nothing!

I did nothing.  Then it all faded away, they lost interest and moved onto to something else.  Grey Rock. 

It seems to me these types are looking for high drama but if you give nothing, it fizzles out.  No oxygen to feed it.

[SunnyMeadow]

I want to add my support to do nothing in this case. Also as Hilltop said your dad doesn't need to pass on your info to anyone. If anyone asks me for another person's info, I check with them first or I say I'll let them know you mentioned it.

Isn't Facebook a delight?  I've read several articles saying it's a narcissist's playground. Makes sense to me.

[blacksheep7]

Sorry for your childhood, but good for you to have come Out of the FOG.

As Hilltop said, they only noticed your absence after two years???  They really missed you, didn't they.  It was the best move for you.  I only keep FB for messenger, keeping in touch with family in Europe.  I love Fakebook, well said!

My sibs and most of my nieces/nephews are enablers.  I was once a flying monkey way back when in the fog for NM to get bro 1 back (he hardly called or visited, lived out of town) into the family. We were very close in our teens.  When his wife died, he came back full force codependent and surrogate husband to widowed NM.....he then became the flying monkey with me, texted me last spring asking me why I was avoiding everyone.  I sent him an article of a covert N.  He replied ok.  I had been nc 4 yrs in.

Only bro 2 is on Fakebook but never, Never does a like or comment! Not even to his own kids.    That is sooooooooo hypocrite, just on there to snoop.  He was a FB friend, I deleted him. He has my dd as a friend but not my ds who hired his son for work at his company plus they have a good friendship. 
Yes it is a Narcissist playground.

[mary_poppins]

Sorry to overshadow the main discussion but what does this mean:"I gave up FB a while back and don't miss it at all, it was in the news recently that FB shares and users are falling, I guess people are over Fakebook." I have FB although I've heard there's a problem with your data.

[Lilyloo]

Marmiteh14,  My mom is the same.Verbally, emotionally abusive.  I guess most of us are here because of this. She uses FB for pity.  She also uses it to slam others, all along adding her Godly things. True NP!!

I see it so often on Fakebook!  We sure see the truth about those we thought we knew on fakebook.   I blocked every single one of my family. I use FB for nature pages, gardening, and things that make me feel good.  Like SunnyMeadow, said it is a "narcissists playground"  I've read that many times too!  Its so easy to see

Cheers to you for cutting them off!!  The flying monkeys are everywhere. We are wise to not engage. The N parents spew the lies and  the  others believe it.  Like you, I give out no info.  You have done well in shutting them down