Projecting

[Vikki]

What do you do when someone projects themself on to you? Has anyone ever had a loved one accuse you of having personality disorder or being a narcissist when its really them that they are talking about.

[11JB68]

Projection is a common defense mechanism.... My uocpdh does it often... Mostly towards our Ds but also with me.
It's great when you can recognize it...I used to not and it was so confusing.
Check out the tool box for ideas of how to handle this and other behaviors

[GentleSoul]

I experienced this. I think is pretty common in people with personality disorders.

Before I understood what it was I found it very confusing.

My late covert narc/alcoholic husband would say I had done certain things.  I hadn't but what confused me so much were they were things a woman wouldn't be interested in doing, also he was a lot older than me and they were things a person of my age wouldn't even know about really, let alone want to do.

When I learnt about projection, I could see it for what it was.

He also used to rant in angry way about a former friend of his that used to pretend he was ill to gain sympathy from other people.  This was something late husband himself used to do a lot.

Once you can see it, you can see that really they are telling on themselves and what they have been doing or thinking.  Once I was aware, I stopped reacting at all.  I used Medium Chill or Grey Rock. 

Everything with a personality disorder person seems to be about them wanting attention.  Often if you don't give it, they stop. 

Sorry you have this to deal with.