Selling Engagement and Wedding Rings

[Kat54]

I still have my engagement and wedding rings but I'm thinking of selling them and giving the money to my adult son and daughter.  I think it's part of the process of moving on with my life and starting over. Even now just looking at family pictures I get incredibly emotional. I think that's why I've not hung up anything on my walls.  Anything with my past I've been finding it hard to look at. Just driving back to my home town has suddenly become more difficult, stirring up emotions.

My son I think wants to get engaged soon to his girlfriend and I'm sure he could use a couple bucks toward a ring. I had offered to give him the diamond but he said it's bad karma... yup he's probably right. And my daughter is thinking of returning to school to get her RN degree.

They are both Tiffany diamond rings so I should get something decent and then wanted to give the money to them.

Last time I took them out of the box I did cry, and then felt angry toward my ex. So I figured it would be best to sell them and let my two kids use the money.
Do I have an obligation to tell my ex?

When I left he rifled through my jewelry box before I could get it and took out any jewelry he ever gave me to be spiteful, so luckily I still have them.
I wasn't going to tell my kids where the money came from. Or should I?

[Boat Babe]

You don't want the rings and your children could use the money, so it's a no brainer from my perspective. I would be honest with your adult children as that's always the best policy with non disordered people. I think they'll be fine about it. You'll feel good about it too.

[Stillirise]

I agree with boat babe. I still have my mom's wedding set from when my parents divorced, as well as my own. Mom gave hers to me, not so much for sentimental value, but as an investment—hers is worth more than mine. Both sets are in another family member's safe, where they've been since right before I filed for divorce. My thought has been once the children are adults, I would give them the option to keep or sell them.  I'm guessing they will probably want the cash! Also, I wouldn't feel obligated in any way to tell your ex. If the kids tell him where they got the money, I'd say it would put him in a pretty bad light to complain about it to them!

[BeautifulCrazy]

I agree with Boat Babe and Stillirise.

I don't think there is anything strange about just selling the rings, giving the money to the kids and letting them know where the money came from. It's a perfectly normal thing to do.

The rings are yours. The proceeds are going to your kids. Your ex shouldn't factor in here at all.

[1footouttadefog]

The rings represent the marriage.  It's over.  If you don't desire to keep them, then passing that wealth on to the fruit of the marriage seems appropriate.  If you left them in a will the same result would happen. 

[Kat54]

Thanks for the advice. I can't believe it will be 3 years in July our divorce was final. While selling them is the right thing to do and give the money to my kids it will make me sad in some ways. And I did tell daughter my plan, she was supportive and thought her brother should use the diamond from the engagement ring but she understood his reasons for not wanting to, besides his girlfriend (future fiancé) may have something completely  different in mind for a ring.

It's the process still of closing the door on that other life. Many fond memories but Sadly marred by many bad ones.