Not really sure what I'm dealing with

[donutmoonpanda]

I've been NC with my NPD dad for seven years. I just never realized that there might be something wrong with my mom. That she's not just this passive person who was abused by my dad and made some bad choices. I'm starting to realize I feel really terrible every time I see her and maybe she's been "unloving" to me my whole life. It's so foggy in here, though. I wake up clear-headed and by bedtime I'm back in the fog again, thinking I'm blowing things out of proportion.

I'm trying to focus on how it feels now, not how it looks. And the relationship feels terrible. And I think I really don't want any kind of relationship with her anymore.

Any personal experience with this you might share would be much appreciated.

[guitarman]

Welcome. You are not alone.

I have an undiagnosed BPD/NPD sister.

What really helped me was to redefine her as my abuser and that I am her target of abuse.

If it hurts it isn't love.

Trust your gut not you head or your heart as they can lie to you.

The more I learnt about abuse, BPD and NPD the more I learnt to understand what was really going on and what I needed to do to look after myself. I needed to put my needs first. I matter.

Keep calm. Stay strong. Stay safe. Keep posting.