i'm going to sabotage my life to hurt you!

[Writingthepain]

My NPD Mom, has recently been trying out a new threat when her NPD bubble gets pricked. She threatens to cancel or wreck something in her life thats important to her, not to me, to her. She seems to think this will cause me to react and capitulate to her demands but i've pointed out, whatever she enjoys in life has nothing to do with me! Its no skin off my nose if she wants to hurt her own life.
Of course its a bluff and she doesn't do this, she seems actually mistified when this dosn't work.

[Seven]

Their logic (or lack thereof) is mystifying, isn't it?

[FromTheSwamp]

That only makes sense if they are assuming that their happiness is your own most important goal.  Talk about self centered.

[GentleSoul]

It reminds me of alcoholics who drink to punish other people!  They drink AT people. 

I suppose it shows the disordered state of their minds.

[GentleSoul]

Or a young child holding their breath to punish you!

[SunnyMeadow]

How strange that she thinks you will flip because she's going to wreck something in her life! Another case of "it's all about me".

[mary_poppins]

Yeah, true. Her happiness is your goal. She truly believes your responsibility and duty is to make her happy. I think Sam Vaknin said in a video that the adult child is like a mother/dead mother to the parent so they are constantly parentified. My own mother believes it is important that I understand I am there to 'parent' her. 
These people live in a disturbing reality. Don't try to make sense of it. Better listen to a song or play with dogs. There are more important things in life than analysing a PD parent's behavior (or understanding them)

[p123]

Yep seen this. Dad deliberately lets things get screwed up so he struggles just so he can moam about them. He also thinks it makes me visit him more because hes struggling. It doesnt.