Change I noticed

[GentleSoul]

As I move forward working on myself to heal from PD/alcoholic parents/spouse, I noticed something in me yesterday that pleases me.

I had the trait of always needing to engage with toxic, shouting, verbally abusive people in the workplace or socially.

I think the base of it was, that due to criticism by parents/spouse etc that it felt to me in my distorted view that if I could get "difficult" people to like me, it somehow proved I was an ok person!

That because they were difficult, they held more currency and meant that if I could make someone like that like me, it meant more than less difficult people liking me.

I wonder if other people relate.

I wasn't aware I thought this way until I read about it, I think possibly in Adult Children of Alcoholics material. 

So my point of posting today is that I noticed I had stopped doing it, quite some time ago, I think.

How I came to notice was that yesterday I encountered two different women who are sullen and rude that in the past I would have felt a huge need to engage with and "make" them chat nicely!!  Well yesterday I saw them.  No pull to engage with them.

They both work in separate shops I happened to go into. 

It felt so right and so normal to say nothing.