Feeling crazy because someone else had a good experience with them

[TiredOfNarcs]

Fucking hell. Why did my friend have to tell me he was a good guy and that she trusted him. Why did I not pay attention to the very first red flag on the very first date when I asked him how he knew her, having already heard from her that they'd had a brief thing in the past but are friends now and that she gives her blessing, and he lied. Why did I not pay attention when he finally mentioned the real story years later, in which he had been seeing a girl who had just had a falling-out with my friend when he went and had a thing with my friend, completely indifferent how that would impact the other girl because it's "technically" not immoral. Not to mention this had also happened right after one of his best friends had just confessed to him that he had feelings for my friend. No regard for anyone but himself, not a single thought for the other two people he seemed to be very obviously hurting in the process. So I suppose I ought not to be surprised when he pulled similar shit on me when we broke up.

Mr. "I just don't think a relationship is for me anymore until after graduation and also I hate the beach" is now dating the girl he jumped on less than two weeks after our breakup at an event he told me he wasn't going to go to (having previously said he wanted me to go with him as his plus-one to show people we were still cool...instead of...you know....being straight-up with me and saying I want to go by myself so I can troll for new supply) after spending spring break with her at the beach. (He goes out of his way to constantly emphasize how honest and straightforward and rational a guy he is btw.)

I can only sit and imagine how everything could've been so different if my friend hadn't said he was a good one. I wouldn't have spent nearly half my college career involved with someone who is like if Onision had a smarmier, more pretentious little brother who wanted to be a politician and hadn't yet taken up grooming as a pastime but still very much fetishizes innocence.

It makes me feel fucking crazy for seeing him for who he really is when she still thinks of him as a good guy. Do any of his other exes and ex-flings see his narcissism like I do? Or was I just the only one who wasn't worthy enough of being treated decently?

I just don't know.

[notrightinthehead]

Yes, it is painful to experience how quickly one can be replaced. And if you show any interest you might even get the impression that the new one is so much better than you were and they are so much happier and better matched...until the next one. I found the book 'Psychopath free' by MacKenzie quite helpful. It made me realize that I needed to work on what I can control, myself and my behaviour, and accept the others  just as they are.