Boundaries feel so nice!

[gfuertes]

Ex is having a massive control drama about our schedule. I have been flexible and reasonable, but won't give in to the entire overhaul of custody and parenting time that he wants, and he is doing a masterful job of trying to push my buttons.

This weekend I'm child-free, the weather's gorgeous, a group of old friends had invited me to go out Saturday night (which Ex may have known about, from Facebook)... and Ex texted Friday night, right after our son left, with a dumpster fire of demands and subtle threats.

It upset me, and kept me up that night. But Saturday morning I managed to give brief, well-reasoned and firm responses to all the issues that actually needed to be addressed. I closed by telling him I would be unavailable the rest of the weekend.

He wrote back almost immediately. But I enjoyed the day, stayed out past midnight with my friends, rode home with a man I like, am getting ready to leave for my niece's soccer game...and I have not opened Ex's message. It feels delicious.

[notrightinthehead]

Well done! Good for you!

[verum71]

Love it - it took me a while to figure out that my BPDx like to drop those bombs at such a time as to disrupt whatever plans you might have.  It's great that you give yourself permission to respond when you are ready - it took me several years to figure that out.

[athene1399]

Yay!  I am so glad you were able to enjoy your weekend and use your boundaries.

[hhaw]

Well done, G.

Congrats on no longer feeling obligated to resolve all your ex's dumpster fires for surely that's what he's striving for.

The more you set and hold your boundaries, without drama, the less satisfaction your ex will get from setting those fires, IME.

You don't need his permission or his understanding or his approval....... not ever, not at all.  You don't need him to be calm and healthy and appropriate to be OK.

I love how you monitored your feelings and kept going back to your joy.  That's amazing: )