Getting better

[Happiness_3]

Hello everyone. Thank you for the concern on my last post. I have since my last post taken a session to discuss everything with my therapist. It went really well and I caught glimpses of the person that I wish to be. At the same time, I have registered that uPDx is not just narc/borderline. It's not my job to diagnose him, but after he met with my father, we were of the opinion that he needs immediate psychiatric admission. So we managed to get him to agree to fly back to where he studies. Seems like flying here was one big manic episode of some sort, details of which are almost blurry for him to recollect. I'm about a hundred pages in Fjelstad, so at least I can work on my chronic care-taking habits simultaneously. But he has agreed to go to the psychiatric ward, and also has been apologetic, remorseful and empathetic. It is all very confusing, but my optimism refuses to budge. I believe things can get better, so that is what I will continue to hope and pray for. I will keep you guys updated on anything further. Love and luck,
HP

[SonofThunder]

Hello Happiness,

What a very complicated, confusing situation and chain of events, and im so sorry that you are having to navigate through this. Yet, it reads as if you have a great ability to step outside yourself and the situation and look back in from a high vantage point with fine-tuned sensitivity (high radar) and analyze not only yourself but those around you.

I tip my hat to you in doing so and also commend and encourage you in your continuing read of Fjelstad.  I wish you strength, confidence and further insights into all you are exploring. 

SoT

[BeautifulCrazy]

I hope you use this as an opportunity to disentangle yourself rather than getting more involved / invested.
There are a lot of factors at play in your situation and I understand you may feel empathy and attachment to this person, perhaps even love.
I hope that going forward you will choose to care for yourself MORE than your ex and put yourself and YOUR well being first.
Many in this forum have expressed this thought better:  We can love someone and want what is best for them without subjecting ourself to harm by continuing to be in a relationship with them.

Wishing you healing and strength and all good things!

[SonofThunder]

We can love someone and want what is best for them without subjecting ourself to harm by continuing to be in a relationship with them.

+1 

SoT

[Happiness_3]

Thank you SoT and BeautifulCrazy for your responses. I actually find myself completely numb to the situation - almost like my body doesn't even have a reaction to the crazy visit recently. I don't understand how somebody could find themselves doing something like that. I am trying right now to safeguard myself from his antics when I return, and the only way to achieve that is if they hold him in the psychiatric ward, that is when he will find himself there to begin with. My disentanglement needs to be mental, so I have to muster all the strength I can to be by myself and be all right while this happens simultaneously. I have been hit with some really hard news and I'm finding it quite difficult to stabilise my emotions at the moment, so I'm still vulnerable to his abusive tendencies. I can't do anything except pray everyone involved gets better. I will keep you guys updated. Love and luck,
H.

[SonofThunder]

Happiness,

So sorry to read you are experiencing additional hard news. Prayers and thoughts of encouragement for you, while your battles mental battles are active on many fronts.

SoT