Impact on chooses relationship

[Justme729]

I'm sitting here looking at the 6 beer cans that my spouse drank last night.   He doesn't get drunk.   But his drinking has increased.  He is never rude.  Never slurs words.   Never has a change in his personality.   We have stressful lives and he says it helps him unwind and relax.   

I am a child of an alcoholic.  My life was defined by my PD mother, and later her boyfriend, drinking constantly.   They were not nice drunks.   They would get mean.   Say mean things.  Do mean things.  Made very unsafe decisions.   I won't go into all of it.   

I am triggered by his drinking.   What used to be 1-2 beer cans are now 5-6 beer cans.   It worries me.   I have no concept of normal.   I know the alcohol content is very low in what he is drinking verses what my mom drinks/drank.   He knows it bothers me, so he will go to the garage or the basement or stay downstairs (away from me) to enjoy.   

How do you deal with stuff like this?  I've already passed my issue onto our kids.  They know I'm sensitive & now they blame daddy disciplining them on his drinking.   I'll be honest, he rightfully gets stern with him.  He could even be MORE stern.  I don't like this attitude from the kids.  He isn't "drunk", but the kids say he's just yelling at them because he's been drinking.   No they are being little stinks and he's asked them nicely more times then can be counted to do a simple task and they don't listen.  So when he raises his voice he's drunk.   It pisses me off - I know he isn't.  But my own issue does come into play and I panic seeing those 5-6 beer cans. 

[Liketheducks]

You can't choose what triggers you and your trauma.   It just happens.   Can you talk to your husband about this?     Can you self care?   

[corn_flakes20]

Sounds like you need to discuss this with him and possibly with a therapist. Always remember your feelings about things are valid, and you deserve a safe space to express, talk and get help with them.

Hope that all goes well