Which is more important: being right or being divorced?

[Poison Ivy]

I'm throwing this topic up merely as a reminder that a person is unlikely to get everything they want and to have every one of their beliefs and truths validated during a divorce, but they can still come out the other end with a satisfactory result. My ex lied and hid money during our divorce, I felt angry about this, but the divorce agreement was approved by a judge and I'm doing fine. My ex still lies and hides money. Other people still ask about him with great sympathy. I'm still doing fine.

[Starboard Song]

Understanding that we have to choose from available options, while having the courage to make some options available -- this is the battle. We have to work hard to judge those long-term outcomes and choose from them, without regard for our short-term desire for vindication.

Thank you for posting.

[PlantFlowersNotWeeds]

 

[escapingman]

For me that us in the middle of the storm, I would say being safe is the most important.

[Lauren17]

This is an excellent reminder, thank you for posting.
Remembering this is even harder when divorcing a PD. You're not thinking completely rationally, no matter how hard we try. So we have to do our best and be kind to ourselves.

[SonofThunder]

🤔. I would answer your question:  Divorced.  I look at 'divorce' as the legal tool needed to allow me to create stronger boundaries, compared to being legally married. The legal connection is controlled, manipulated, gaslit, coerced...and the lost goes on.

When the legal connection was severed with my uPDfather in business, his attempts were greatly minimized because he could not utilize 'legality' as a tool for control and as a threat.  PD people are still PD people after legal ties are broken, but in my experience, they aim their PD trait rifle at a variety of targets once the legal connection ends.  Its a relief not to be in his sights so often.

With regard to 'right':  I will choose truth instead. Imo, 'right' means there is a 'wrong'.  I would rather accept that 'false' exists because 'truth' applies not to just me, but universally to all people in similar situations.  I personally don't give a crap about being right, but rather on the side of truth. 

SoT

[hhaw]

Definitely divorced.

WIthout hesitation.